Bubba loves to run.

Tales from the Hood: Tats

2010-05-19T10:58:00.002-05:00

Conversation I just had...

LaTavia: I'm gonna get "BM" tattoo on my forearm.

Me: Do you know what BM stands for honey?

LaTavia: Baby Mama

Me: Ah, no. LaTavia, BM stands for Bowel Movement.

LaTavia: (moment of silence)....what's that?

Me: Bowel Movement means poop. So, if you put BM on your arm, most people will think you just pooped on your arm.

LaTavia: Oh....I'm not gonna do that.

Hiatus: unexpected gap: a break in something where there should be continuity

2010-01-29T14:15:00.008-06:00

So, it's been a little over a year since my last post. I know, I know, I left you high and dry without your weekly fix of disgusting pictures of bloody runners' toes, stories about my precious youngin's, and tales of my running adventures, but I have had my reasons for why I've dropped out of the blogosphere. I'm sure most aren't interested in all the details, so I will give those of you who still check my humble corner of cyberspace the low down on Bubba's absence.

I like lists, so I'll give it to ya in list style.

1. I ran the Rock-n-Roll Marathon in AZ last January.
2. I started training for the Go! STL Half Marathon...noticed my repetitive exhaustion wasn't going away.
3. I met a fantastic guy, we shall call him Mr. Bubba. He was not Hot Runner Guy*, but someone infinitely better than a sweaty random guy that I periodically ran past on the street.
4. I ran the Go! STL Half Marathon.
5. I went to the doctor and found out I had a tumor.
6. A week after the Go! STL Half Marathon, I ran the Kentucky Derby Half Marathon.
7. I got a new doctor and scheduled surgery for the end of the school year to remove the tumor.
8. My energy quickly declined and was forced to decrease my running.
9. I had surgery to remove the tumor.

10. I got engaged!
11. I took several months to recover from surgery and I started running again...had to start all over from square one.
12. I got married!
13. I registered for my comeback race: Go! STL Half Marathon 2010.
14. I returned to blogging.

The End.

*Hot Runner Guy has since been identified by Kate's husband as someone they went to high school with...Hot Runner Guy now has a name, which made stalking him much less fun.

P.F. Chang's Rock-n-Roll Marathon Race Report: Part 2....finally

2009-03-02T09:34:00.027-06:00

Okay, so I let a month and a few weeks go by before I wrote my race report. No one was harassing me to write it, so I figured you people weren't all that anxious to read it anyway. It's been a harrowing hiatus, but I'm glad to be back. Oh, and since I let so much time go by between posts and I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of the details in the haze of recovery, I'm giving you the short version of the race report....in bullets.

Friday...
-Amy and I left STL and flew to Dallas to switch planes. We saw some interesting souvenirs in the airport.
Who knew they made giant Pez and pooping candy dispensers in the form of random farm animals?
-When we arrived at the airport in Phoenix, we had to pick up our rental car. The guy at the rental counter was commenting on how busy they were because of the playoff game, some conferences, and "those crazy marathoners" that were in town that
weekend. I made some crack about being one of those "crazy marathoners" and maybe added an "OH REALLY???" in there somewhere, to which the guy felt bad...and proceeded to upgrade us from a compact to a convertible. I've got skills.
-A few wrong turns and some "recalculating" (from our very annoyed GPS friend) later, we arrived at our destination in Surprise, AZ.

Saturday...
-I awoke to find Skip and Kate in my suitcase! Well, at least the plastic Princess
Barbie and Surfer Ken versions of them, along with a note of encouragement from the Mighty Kate. Apparently my friend Katie teamed up with Amy to figure out a way to bring Team Betsy to me in AZ. They had everyone they could think of send Amy an email to give to me that weekend. It was so great. Amy hid the emails all over where I would find them at random moments throughout the weekend. Team Betsy did a great job. Here are a few samples of some of my favorites (I spared you the touchy-feely emotional ones.):
-"And while I wish you would take a freaking break once in a while, I love that you are so dedicated." (The Mighty Kate)
-"YOU JUST RAN A MARATHON!" (Katie)
-"Now take a break and get some ice cream." (Diana)
-"Run like you are being chased in the hood!" (Age, Bren, Shelby, and Jackson)
-"Just try to stay focused this time...no poopsicles or other crazy ideas." (Dan)
-"I'm trying to find some kickass encouraging words. Insert them here "___________." Man that sounded great." (Patrick)
-Katie to Amy in her directions on how to support me on the race course:
"The wall is a horrible, horrible thing."
"Laugh with her. She's going to walk like a cowboy after a day-long ride...trust me...IT'S HILARIOUS!"

-Next, Amy and I got the brilliant idea of photographing Skip and Kate everywhere we went that day (which I have scattered throughout this report).* Oh, and a Barbie version of Katie magically appeared at the race expo.
-We met up with a friend for a pasta dinner in Scottsdale that night.

Sunday...
-I woke up with a raging sore throat. I tried to ignore it. I was NOT going to DNS.
-After a lot of planning and map reading, we scouted out our race start parking spot and chilled in the car for a while before the race start.
-We headed out for Corral #6 and nervously awaited the race start.
-I had never run in a marathon that large before, so it was pretty dang exciting and slightly intimidating.
-The race started...I gave a head nod to The Penguin and Yasso as I crossed over the
timing pad...and I was OFF!!!
-In the first couple miles I saw my first blind runner and his running guide. It was very inspirational.
-I saw Amy at mile 9(?), holdin' up her Team Betsy sign like a trooper! I never saw
her again after that because it was REALLY hard to maneuver around the race course and find me without thinking that I had already passed her by. Navigating a race course by yourself in a city that is unfamiliar is no easy task. The poor thing tried SO hard to find me!
-The water stops were staffed by some really great, encouraging people. Kudos to the Phoenix volunteers and fans for all your time spent, smiles, and cheers of encouragement. My favorite water stop was the one where everyone was dressed up like a superhero.
-I kept pace with the 4:30 pace group for most of the race. I lost them when I had to stop to use the bathroom. It was then I knew I wasn't going to make my goal time. I was a little bummed, but was having a good time, so I just let it roll off my back.
-Mile 22....Hit the wall for the first time in my running life. I stopped. I stood. I cried. I couldn't move another inch. I tried to muster up every encouraging note that my friends had written, every verse from the Bible about persevering that I had memorized, every inspirational saying I had ever read...but my brain was mush. My throat was on fire. Every inch of my body hurt. I just stood there and told myself, "Betsy, you are NOT quitting. You are going to walk to that mile marker at the top of the ramp. You are going to start running at that marker and no matter how much pain you are in...you ARE going to FINISH this!" I averted my eyes from the medical tent peeps because I was afraid they would look me in the eyes and know...and would make me stop. So, I put my head down, wiped away my tears, and started running. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.

-Mile 25....I walked through the next few water stops after hitting the wall, but when I got to mile 25, I told myself I was not going to walk another step.
-The finish...I ran the rest of the 26.2 and was even able to sprint (well, as much as one can sprint the end of a marathon) the last stretch around Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe. I saw Amy as I approached the finish line, and I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a familiar face in my life. I finished the race in 4:54.49 (official chip time), faster than my last marathon, but slower than my first by four minutes.
-I navigated my way through the finish maze, received my medal, picked up some ice and some recovery snacks, and headed for the family reunion area.
-Amy and I walked what felt like miles to where the car was parked. We had to take a rest break for food at a bagel shop...poor Amy was in such a rush trying to find me that she didn't get to eat anything!
-We headed back to Surprise, but had to stop on our way home for a bathroom pit stop. I got into an interesting conversation with a gas station attendant who didn't believe that I had just ran 26.2. miles (He was wondering why I was walking so strangely.). He kept saying "You? No....you?" I kept saying, "Yes, me!....Me!" I felt like we were in the middle of a rendition of "Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?" Only it went like, "Who just ran 26.2 miles? Who you? Yes, me! Couldn't be! Then who?"
-Amy was a trooper...she had asked Katie how to take care of me after the race. She did great...provided me with big bags of ice, helped me out of bed, yelled at me when I didn't stretch...the basics.
-We headed out that night to get some cold medicine for my sore throat, got some grub at Chipotle, and went to a movie.

Monday...
-We decided to go to the Desert Botanical Gardens to see the Dale Chihuly glass exhibit. I hobbled around like a cowboy.
-We returned the rental car, and flew home via Dallas. I didn't do so well getting in and out of the plane seats, so much so that the flight attendants offered me a wheelchair in STL. They must have thought that I had ordered one, but it was really for an elderly lady that was still on the plane behind me.

Post-Marathon...
-I progressively felt sicker and sicker and ended up leaving work the next morning to go to the doctor. I had strep. The doctor told me that I likely caught it before I left or from someone on the plane going to Phoenix.
-Amy made an amazing video of the weekend! She's so creative! Check it out:

-It took a few weeks to feel normal again, but I'm back and training for the Go! STL Half Marathon and the Kentucky Derby MiniMarathon in April. I promise to catch up with all my blog buddies this week...

*We did not actually go in to Topless Teasers. We were just making a visual commentary about the overabundance of strip clubs on the stretch of road between Surprise and Phoenix. Kate was protecting Skip's eyes.

P.F. Chang's Rock-n-Roll Marathon Race Report: Part 1

2009-01-20T09:24:00.005-06:00

Well, as my friend Amy would say....I did a hat trick. I finished my third marathon. I also managed to run it while battling a nasty case of strep throat. I'm pretty wiped out and drugged up at the moment, so I will have to give you all the race report in parts. I pretty much only have the energy to answer my previous post's questions. Oh, and a BIG thanks for all of your comments/encouragement. They were much appreciated. So here it goes...
Will I finish?
yes
Will I hit the wall and not be able to push through it?
Hit the wall for the first time in my running life...at mile 22...I stood there and cried.
Will my legs cramp up?
Once...right calf at mile 5...pushed through.
Will my stomach hate me on race morning?
Yes...nerves.
What if my alarm doesn't go off?
Didn't happen...woke up before the alarm.
What if I eat the wrong thing the night before?
Nope...pasta dinner.
Will I slip and fall on all the trampled water cups?
Nope
What's the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow?
Who cares? Well, besides silly English Caniggits?
What if I miss a spot with the Body Glide?
Yup...had a bloody back...major wincing and whimpering in post-race shower.
What if I miss my flight?
No problems
What if there isn't a Johnny on the Spot there when I REALLY need it?
More appropriate question: What if there isn't any toilet paper in the Johnny on the Spot when I really need it?
Will I be able to do this without Skip and The Mighty Kate?
Didn't have to...full race report to come later.

bubba's gotta run....a REALLY long way

2009-01-14T13:40:00.015-06:00

I have a confession to make-I'm nervous. No matter how many times I run a marathon, I will STILL be nervous before the race. Well meaning people say, "Oh, you'll do fine! You've done this before, so it's no big deal for you now!"

Ah, no.

No matter how many times someone runs a marathon, 26.2 miles is STILL a long way to run and it's STILL a big deal. There will always be that small voice in your head that questions,
"Will I finish?"
"Will I hit the wall and not be able to push through it?"
"Will my legs cramp up?"
"Will my stomach hate me on race morning?"
"What if my alarm doesn't go off?"
"What if I eat the wrong thing the night before?"
"Will I slip and fall on all the trampled water cups?"
"What's the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow?"
"What if I miss a spot with the Body Glide?"
"What if I miss my flight?"
"What if there isn't a Johnny on the Spot there when I REALLY need it?"
"Will I be able to do this without Skip and The Mighty Kate?"

Well, that last one isn't going through everyone's mind...just mine. I have an amazing group of friends who have been a great support.
They've given words of encouragement, made TEAM BETSY t-shirts, acted as roaming
photographers, cheerleaders, chauffeurs, running buddies, and human crutches. Katie even made me an amazing scrapbook about my first journey to 26.2 and has accompanied me to almost every pre-race packet pickup/expo. I kind of feel like an Oscar winner when I say that there are too many people to thank for helping and encouraging me to be the runner that I am today. For this particular race, I am feeling especially nervous about the absence of two of my Team Betsy fans-Skip and The Mighty Kate . They have been to almost EVERY major race I've run. They've been my support crew for both of my
previous marathons and one of my half marathons. Skip ran the first 8 miles, and the last 3 miles of my first marathon with me. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there for those last few miles...I nearly cried when I saw him jump on the race course. They have graciously risen at the crack of dawn each race morning and chauffeured me to the start, all the while providing endless smiles, cheers, and hugs of encouragement (and Kate HATES to hug).

Logic tells me: I KNOW I can do this.

I have put the training in for Sunday's race...I've covered 18 weeks and approximately 570 miles...so what's another 26.2?

My heart tells me: I wish I could pack Skip and Kate in my suitcase.

I don't know if I can do this without them...

tales from the hood: the end of the world

2009-01-09T13:36:00.004-06:00

This conversation happened sometime last week, considering that it's now so cold out in STL that my nose nearly cracked off this morning during our morning run....

Andrew: AWWWWW MAN!!!! It's so warm outside! I'm definitely going to call off work today!

James: Man, this is like Florida weather, it so warm out here!

Andrew: It's not sssssssupposed to be this warm in January!

Oreido: YA! IT'S LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!

Andrew: Ya. That whwhwhwhwhat it feel like, don't it?!?!

Oreido: If it's really the end of the world........I love you man.

Andrew: Ya, 'Reido. IIIIIII love you too man.

tales from the hood: plumbing

2009-01-07T13:31:00.009-06:00

Andrew: (running out of the locker room in distress) Mamamamamamamamiss G!

Me: Yes, Andrew...slow down.

Andrew: Wawawawawawawhere ddddddid those mmmmmmiddle schoolers go?

Me: They went to their class, why?

Andrew: Ththththththey did something in the locker room! Can't you hear that? Wait....(holds up index finger as if to shush me so I could hear the noise).

Me: Ya. It sounds like running water.

Andrew: Ththththththey did something to that thing where our pee comes out.

Brain Mouth Filter: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Me: Do you mean the urinal?

Andrew: Yuyuyuyuyuyuyuyes! If that's what you call it?! Can I go find them and make them fix it?!

Me: No.

Andrew: (becoming increasingly agitated) Whuwhuwhuwhuwhy?

Me: Well, because I'm sure they don't know that much about plumbing Andrew. Calm down. We will just have to wait until one our male staff members gets to the gym. I will ask him to go into the locker room and check it out. I know you didn't do anything wrong Andrew. I just can't go in there and fix it for you because I can't see you naked. Remember? I'm a girl.

Andrew: Oh. Ya. IIIIIIIIIIII understand you now G. (calmly walks back into the lockeroom)

roller derby treadmill style and other randomness

2008-12-30T15:18:00.019-06:00

Alright, I know I've been absent from the blogosphere as of late. I don't have a complicated reason, except that I've just been dang tired. My wipeoutitis has reared its ugly head as I barrel towards the finish of my marathon training (less than three weeks 'til race day!). I promise I will spend some time over my winter break catching up on everyone's blogs. I have a lot of reading to do! I have several race reports to catch up on and several running related stories for you...

1. Great River Road Run (10 miles)
If you are ever in the STL area during Thanksgiving weekend and want a great way to work off some turkey and pumpkin pie, I highly recommend this race. They shut down a 5 mile stretch of the Great River Road in Alton, IL, for an out and back flat course. The race quite literally runs next to the river, and it's really quite beautiful. Wind was the biggest weather issue that day, but otherwise it was a perfect day for a run. I ran a 20 miler on Thanksgiving, so I took it easy and ran much slower than my regular race pace. I met up with Mr. Snarky and some of his much less snarky friends to run. One of his friends was just returning to running after having a baby, so I stuck with her and we chatted it up along the race course. Yay for new running friends! Another added bonus-you are strategically located to partake in a post-race drink/meal at Fast Eddies...and we took advantage of the opportunity.

2. St. Louis Track Club Frost Bite Series
This is the second year I've participated in the series, and I have to say I'm hooked. The race series combines a long (8K, 10 mile, 20K, Half Marathon, and 15K) and short (3K, 2 mile, 5K, 4 mile, and 3 mile) distance race over 5 weekends during the winter months. If you live in the area, it's a great way to stay in shape over the colder running months. If you are a track club member, the race series only costs $30.00, or $6.00 per race. It's only a couple dollars more per race if you aren't a member. You can't beat those prices! I ran the 8K a few weeks ago as part of a 20 mile training run. I ran into a woman I met at the series last winter, and we spent the race catching up on all of our news from the past year. After we finished, we parted ways and I ran the rest of the 20 miles on my own. The 10 mile race was this weekend. It was 60+ degrees, raining, and VERY windy. It was crazy to be running in shorts at the end of December! I had run another 20 miler a few days before, so I took it easy, but it was a great run and a lot of fun despite the rain and brutal wind.

3. Wipeoutitis update
I don't know if my mind and body blocked out the memory of the exhaustion of the previous marathons, but I do NOT remember being this wiped out. I am so tired I feel nauseous most days. I've had to resort to running some days in the evening just to squeeze in another hour of sleep. Case in point...I went to get my hair cut a few weeks ago. I got dressed in my running gear before I went so I wouldn't have an excuse not to go when I was finished. After Laine finished highlighting my hair, I fell asleep in the chair. When I got my hair washed, I found myself dozing off again. As she was cutting my hair, I had to fight to keep my eyes open. We made jokes about me sliding to the floor and having her have to wake me up to flip me over and cut the other side of my head.

4. Roller Derby
The weather in STL has been absolutely insane. We've gone from single digit temperatures, ice storms, with below zero wind chill factors to 65 degrees, sunny, with freak flash floods thrown in the mix. During the single-digit ice storm phase, I was forced to do the unthinkable. Yes, folks...I ran on a treadmill. As my friend Cheri will attest, treadmills make me a VERY grumpy runner. I whine, I complain, and stomp around, I basically turn into a 3 year old in a mega-power struggle. So, I gathered my strength, stuck out my lower lip (what I apparently do when I pout, according to my parents), got in my car, and slid my way to the Y to do two days of 5 mile runs on the *gasp* treadmill. Luckily, my run club buds were also there for emotional support. We lined up and dominated the row of brand new, shiny treadmills (sounds good, but still sucks). I turned and looked at Cheri, growled, and commenced the torture. Now, it's been a while since I've been forced to run on the torture machines, so I didn't realize they've added some fancy bells and whistles. Treadmills now have the feature where you can program your view (i.e. track, 5 K race course through the trails, etc.), where you are a little red line, moving through the virtual terrain. This is just the treadmill makers' way of teasing you: You're not REALLY out here in the open, in the fresh air, with a mountain view. Yup, you're still stuck on a rubberesque strip revolving around and around in a stinky gym, facing a brick wall....just kidding....sucker!!!!
To pass the time, Cheri and I day dreamed about revising the feature. What if you could have a giant flat screen in front of all the machines that tracked everyone's progress on the same virtual course. Each line would have a corresponding number with the treadmill you were using. I decided it would make it A LOT more interesting and motivating if you could virtually knock your competitors into the course lakes and shrubbery....like we were in one massive virtual roller derby!!! Now THAT I could get into! Ah...good times, good times. Alas, they don't make roller derby treadmills and my two-day stint with torture came to an end when I threw caution to the wind and ran in the cold and ice. I just couldn't do it again. Cheri already has wee ones at home who engage her in power struggles...she didn't need me to virtually push her into a shrubbery too.

tales from the hood: betsy bada##

2008-12-07T15:59:00.009-06:00

Every school year since I've been in the hood, I seem to acquire some kind of nickname. My call sign*, if you will, bestowed upon me by my students. Some of the more creative or colorful ones have been Miss Bogus and Stupid Fat-a## White B@$%*. Last week, I received the best one to date. I was teaching a lesson on patriarchal societies. The students were debating whether or not we live in a patriarchal society today. At the end of one of my class periods, the following conversation ensued....

Oreasha: Miss G, you got any kids?

Me: No

Oreasha: You married?

Me: No

Oreasha: You got a man taking care of you?

Me: Nope

Oreasha: So, you could say you are the head of your household right?

Me: Yes, Oreasha. I am the wage earner in my household, I pay all the bills, and I make all the decisions in my home. If something breaks, I have to fix it, or figure out how to get it fixed. If I run out of money, I'm it. I have to figure out a way to earn more to cover my expenses.

Oreasha: Miss G, you're like a single mom without the kids.

Darius: Ya, she's bad. She's Betsy, Betsy Bada##.

Me: (Laughing and shaking my head) Yes, Oreasha, you could say that. That is an interesting perspective. Darius, I am going to correct you on your language, but I can't even pretend to be aggravated with you for that comment....I have to admit, that one was good.

*I secretly imagine that I am an Navy pilot like Goose or Maverick, only I have slightly more derogatory names written on the side of my helmet/plane. Also, it would be slightly more embarrassing for my wing man to yell out my call sign as we high-five before I slide into the cock pit.

race report montage

2008-11-19T18:09:00.023-06:00

Okey doke...here's the race report update I promised. I know you all have been on the edge of your seats (sarcasm), waiting in anticipation and I've been a tease and just kept you waiting. Well, the wait is over...

Race #1: O'Fallon Fall Finale 15K (er...Super 15K=9.5 miles)
This race locale has tortured me for the last couple of years. I started off with a bang, sizzled and fizzled in the middle, but ended the trio on the right foot. There isn't much to report (a.k.a. remember) about the race. I came, I ran 9.5 miles of hills, I finished. I felt great. I'm terrible at keeping track of my random race distance times, so I don't know if I set a PR or not. I do know that I beat my Sizzler time by 8 minutes and 38 seconds. Yipee!

Race #2: St. Louis Track Club Half Marathon
-This was the second time I ran this course. The first time was my very first half marathon, which I ran in 2:18.10. Granted, that doesn't seem that impressive, but I used it as part of a 20 mile training run in preparation for my first marathon.

-This year I ran it as part of a 14 mile training run. I just did a mile a warm up before the race. I wasn't trying to push myself too hard since I was only using it as my long training run for the week. The race is pretty brutal because it starts on
the hills of Clayton at Shaw Park, runs to and through Forest Park, and loops back through Clayton to finish where we started. I felt really good through the whole race.

-I was VERY excited to see my first joggler! I resisted the urge to point and cheer when I saw him (I've always wanted to see this in person). After all, I didn't want to throw him off his rhythm.

-I experienced a random act of runner kindness. Around mile 11ish, a fellow runner turned to me and offered me one of her Power gummythingys. I didn't want to be rude, so I took one and thanked her happily.

-The race also had an aid station that was staffed by a troop of Girls on the Run. Giving all the wee ones high fives as I ran by and getting to see all those young girls excited about running brought tears to my eyes.

-Last, but not least....When I ran through the finish and looked at my watch, I couldn't believe my eyes. I had made a new PR by 4 minutes and 41 seconds and I ran 6 minutes and 10 seconds faster than my last half marathon!

Race #3: Mountain Home Half Marathon
I was invited by Cheri, the leader of my run club at the Y and a Team in Training coach, to join their merry party of runners to this event. Donna and Jim were former trainees of Cheri's for Team in Training, and Adrianna was a friend of Jim's. Oddly enough, three of the five of us are Special Education teachers (What are the odds?). All of us were unfortunate victims of the Hurricane Ike mishap at the Lewis and Clark Marathon in September. My fellow runners had all signed up to do the full marathon, and I registered for the half.

We set off on our epic running road trip on Friday, in a fully stocked van of running gear, air mattresses, and lots and lots of food. Cheri made three CDs worth of songs in honor of the trip, all with "running," "mountain," or "hill" in the titles. Believe me, that was one random musical journey...where else would you hear John Denver and Ozzy Ozbourne within the same ten minute time period?! Cheri pretty much spent the entire trip scaring the poop out of everyone with how bad the elevation map looked for the race course and how freakin' cold it was supposed to be on Saturday. Once we entered Arkansas, someone bet a dollar to whoever spotted the first washer/dryer on a front porch. I said, "Aw come on guys, we can't be that judgemental! It couldn't possibly be that bad!" Dang it...I was so wrong. Rural Arkansas DOES have a plethera of large appliances as lawn art. We were about ten minutes past the state line, and wouldn't you know it, we saw about 5 stoves and a washer/dryer set. I stand corrected....they were right. About 45 minutes and several mispelled road signs later*, we had arrived at our destination....Mountain Home.

We checked into the hotel, dumped our gear, and headed out to the high school for packet pick up and the pasta dinner. Upon arrival at the high school, we discovered that they are the home of the Mountain Home Bombers. Yes, that's right friends. Their high school mascot is a plane that drops explosives on poor unsuspecting civilians. We should have seen this as a sign.

The pasta dinner and the post race lunch were both provided by the local church ladies (so cute). After we browsed a bit at the single vendor expo, we went to the cafeteria for our pasta and race-course briefing. They made a very heart wrenching presentation about the village in Kenya we were running to support the following day. Next, one of the race directors walked us through a power-point presentation of the course map. This summary included advice and words of encouragement such as, "If you go past the haunted house, you have gone too far," and "We hope you don't get any frost bite in any of ya all digits [pronounced DIIIIIDDDGGGGETS]!" They were very cryptic about the changes they had made to the race course, and almost seemed to take great joy in alluding to the torturous hills that were waiting for us in the morning. They had re-routed the race from last year and kept warning everyone that it wasn't the same course. I was in a state of happy ignorance. Donna went off to talk to one of the organizers about the course. When she returned she reported that, when told that we were going to drive the race course when we left the dinner, the woman had looked her right in the eye with a dead-pan face and said, "It's best not to, dear."

So, we didn't. We made a few stops to pick up some supplies and headed back to the hotel to try to get some sleep. The next morning we awoke to frigid temperatures and a bitter wind. We traveled back to the high school and started the race. I hung back with Adrianna for the first 8 miles until I had to turn around a double back along the half marathon route. Jim was a few paces behind us. We ran along a two lane highway for most of the race, with police cars racing up and down next to us, lights flashing, and the officers yelling at us through megaphones to stay on the other side of the fog line (Who knew the white lines are called fog lines?!). The hills started almost immediately and did not stop. We saw several runners who had quit doubling back (now walking), shaking their heads and muttering, "There's no way!" Eventually, it started to sleet and snow. Adrianna and I were pretty upbeat and were trying to trick ourselves by calling the needle-like sleet "angel kisses" or "cotton balls falling from the sky" and the wind was "invigorating." We had a good time making a game of the torture. We even were able to add to our running total of porch/lawn appliances as we ran. As we approached an aid station** at around mile 7, I had dropped behind Adrianna to avoid being repremanded by the approaching cop for crossing the forbidden fog line. Suddenly, Adrianna started screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping up and down. I noticed a snake on the road, so I jumped into the road, thinking she knew something I didn't about venomous snakes. As we were doing the heebie geebie run, I noticed that the snake was dead. Ya, the race officials got a few giggles out of that one. When Adiranna and I approached my turn around marker, she turned to me and pointed to several female runners ahead of me and said, "Catch those ladies and beat them." We high fived each other and parted ways. I turned around and ran a bit down the road and saw Jim heading up the hill. He greeted me with a loud, smiling "F*@# YOU!" and a single finger salute. He wasn't too happy that I got to turn around. I merrily told him I loved him and gave him a pat on the back...and was on my way.

Remembering my promise to Adrianna, I kicked it into high gear and went on a one woman mission to beat every woman I could see ahead of me on the race course. I was a woman possessed. I knew I had lost a lot of time pacing with the marathoners instead of the half mary's, so I had to push it the last 5 miles. I knew my secret weapon would be to run the upside of the hills while everyone else had given up and had started walking them. I was slightly distracted by the elderly man runner I saw in purple spandex shorts and pink flamingo glasses, who was taking pictures of everyone as we passed. Otherwise, I was a running fool. As I sprinted to the finish, I glanced down at my watch and knew that I hadn't been able to make up enough time to make another PR, but I was pretty dang proud of myself for running such a tough course under less than desireable conditions in 2:15.10.

After I finished, collected my medal, and took advantage of the free massage, I quickly returned to the hotel to shower and change before cheering my friends through to the finish of the full marathon. To kill time while I was waiting, I watched the awards ceremony for the half marathon. As they started to read the age group winners and their times, I realized, "Hey, wait a minute. My time wasn't that far off of their times!" Sure enough, when they got to my age/gender group, they announced my name...I had won second place in my age group! I picked up my commemorative key chain and happily returned to the finish line to wait for my friends.

They came hobbling and cursing across the finish line, which ironically had an ambulance ready and waiting. They all did a fantastic job! Cheri and Donna placed first and second in their age group, and Adrianna placed second in her age group (and set a PR!). In other words, the women of Illinois represented! Medals and commemorative key chains in hand, we checked out of the hotel and I drove the van home. Now, believe me, there is nothing funnier than listening to a van full of marathon runners whine and moan about their sore arses (from running all those hills) and recap EVERY mile of the race. Well, there might be something funnier...watching the same van full of runners try to get out of the van and walk into a gas station to pee after their muscles and joints have all stiffened up over the course of a 5+ hour road trip....sigh....I wish I had that documented on film...good times, good times.

*One such sign was for a restaurant called the Blu Pig. Apparently they think the silent "e" is unecessary since you don't actually say it.
**I'll say one thing for this race, they had AMAZING aid stations-fully stocked with beverages, snacks, gels, and the friendliest, most encouraging volunteers I've ever met!

tales from the hood: my moment

2008-11-13T21:49:00.006-06:00

I have been M.I.A. from the blogosphere as of late...been busy with work, training, and life in general. I have a back up of race reports (including a half marathon PR...yipee!), so I will post an update after I get home from the race in Arkansas on Saturday. In the mean time, I will provide you with a wee little tale from the hood from a few weeks ago. I call it "My moment in the sun."

Me: Okay, everyone it looks like we've run out of time for today. Please put your folders on the table. Make sure you give me my pencils back because I don't have any more! Thank you for your attention today, you all did a great job.

Tez: G, why you thankin' us?

Me: I feel that your hard work should be recognized. I think you did a great job staying on task today, so I wanted to say thank you.

Tez: G, we should be thanking you for teaching us and helping us learn. You shouldn't be thanking us.

Brain Mouth Filter (dream sequence style): (The ceiling split open and the roof blew off the building. Angels started singing "AHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHAAAAAHHH!" Heavenly lights were shining brightly and doves came flying out in fluttering waves.)

Nique: A## kisser.

Me: SHHHUUUUSHHHHHH Nique! Give me my moment.

sometimes it just needs to be said: a race report from mr. snarky

2008-10-16T14:15:00.015-05:00

Today's entry comes to you from a guest blogger, James. James is a runner friend of mine who completed the Chicago Marathon last weekend. He sent me his report from the race and I asked him if I could share it with you. I added the pictures because he hasn't given me any. Being a photo journalist, I think he should have done his race report as a photo story instead. Doesn't everyone know that it is incredibly easy to carry an expensive camera with a telephoto lens with you as you run 26.2 miles?!...wimp. So, it's his own dang fault if he objects.

Now, James REALLY likes to give me a hard time, so feel free to slam him for making fun of people who DNSed at the Lewis and Clark Marathon....punk. I also razzed him for his apparent aversion to encouragement along the race course. I have to remember never to give him a pat on the back for fear he miiiight stick his foot somewhere I would really rather not like one of his appendages. So, play nice everyone and welcome our fellow runner to the blogosphere...happy reading!

Ok...it started out rather nice with a fine pasta dinner at the pasta party and lots of sleep, more than I had had in several weeks at one time. We all got up and met in the lobby and noticed it was warmer than we thought it might be. Nevertheless, it was nice out. We even got some pixs with a running group from Japan.....

I led Team Alton in a group prayer and we headed for our starting positions. I had to cut away from everyone because I was up in Corral B. I should have stayed with the group! I found a nice stand of trees just outside my starting area to pee and it seemed I had started something because before long, every tree had someone, male or female, doing their business.

The race started out fine. I crossed the start line...BEEEEEEEEEP, when I noticed I was right next to one of the 3:20 pace groups. "Hey, cool," I said, I’ll just run with them.” Wow, it was warming up by mile 3, and I still hadn't got my wind, so I turned on some music to ease into it. Yes, yes that helped to run with the rhythm. Step, step, breath deep, in, out, in, out........... much better now. Now I’m running in stride with the pacer and he looks over at me to see what our pace is on my Garmin. I gave him hand signals when we need to step up or down, but for the most part we were dead on or under. After some short conversations with "Dave the Pacer,” I find out that he was from St. Louis, and skipped the LC marathon because of the rain. I laughed and said it was a enjoyable run, something to talk about years later....In my mind, I thought ..."Sissy." LOL

By mile 8, I was having trouble keeping a steady pace. I was up and down, falling behind and pushing to catch back up. I got out in front of the pacer a few steps, to make him push me, and it worked. I was back in the groove when I noticed I was going through a lot more of my sports drink that I carry with me. I used half more than I normally do......crap! It’s getting hot!!!

This pic is not of James...He's not a Kenyan.

I was doing fine, no cramps, no pain, and then it hit me at the 20K mark-WHAM! The wall… ouch, that hurt!!!! I slowed down to fill up my water bottle, and the only thing I could see was my pace group pulling away from me. Double crap! By mile 13.1, all I wanted to do was sit down on the curb and weep. Ouch, the pain was everywhere! Not the shin splints that had given me trouble for weeks before, not any leg cramps, no one place, I just hurt and hurt bad. I had felt this type of pain before in earlier marathons, but not until mile 20-21 and never this bad......the beast had hit me, but hadn't knocked me down.

My breath was gone and the pain that cursed through my veins made me feel like I had been beat with a baseball bat and, to top it off, my ipod quit.....triple crap! “S*&#!” I said, “Why am I not sweating anymore?....That can't be good.” Light headed and blisters forming on the bottom of my toes, (that had never happened before…triple- dog crap!) I limped to the side and slowed to a hobbling walk and yelled out the only adjective that fit the way I felt… "F@#%!(sometimes it just has to be used!)......Am I stopping?" I asked myself, “Has the beast got the best of me?” I only had half a marathon to go, so I slammed a Gu, took on some H2O, and picked up the pace.

In the next several miles, I saw slower pace groups pass me. I tried to speed up to keep up with them and try and salvage something from my first 20K. The pain would creep back in and hit me. Hey, it is hard to run with blisters....S@#%, this wasn't what I had planned for. Around mile 18.5, I tried my ipod one more time. Boom, it kicked on...got to love that Elvis! Time and time again, I had to tell myself, "Suck it up, sissy. You’re a black belt, for God’s sake, don't let the beast beat you."

I started to see earlier people that had left me behind, now suffering at the hands of the beast. I passed one runner who hit the ground, calling out in pain from cramps. As I passed, I started to slow up to help him, but instead went on. It just hurt too much to slow down or bend over.

This starts the ADD portion of James's story....

Awwwww crap, it was getting hot.....I was throwing cups of water over my head, something I normally don't do, all in an attempt to shake the beast. I saw others stopped in the shade with onlookers dowsing them with water, trying to cool them down.....Oh look someone throwing up.......mmmmmm bananas. I had to come in under 4 hours. That was the time I had set for myself in my first marathon, and I was not going to go over 4......breath, breath, breath....what breath?

Hey, what are all these red flags out here? Ouch, pain…Oooo water… need water....(the red flags were the high heat warning system they had put into place that I forgot about...different colors for different conditions).

Hey look! Mile 25, I'm almost done! "Almost there! Just a mile to go,” someone cheered from the side with a perky little smile on his face. "Keep on going! You can do it!" No s@#$ I can do it, you fat bastard. I just ran 25 miles, half of it in pain. I sure the hell am not going to stop now! I would have stopped and kicked him in [his man parts], but I’m not sure I could get my foot up there!

Up a hill and around the corner I went with .2 to go! "Pick it up sissy," I told myself. "Got to get that sub 4.”

“Get out of my way, you little twit," my mind yelled out to some stupid b@#$% that decides to stop within sight of the finish.....some people.

I crossed the line, in too much pain to even stop my Garmin...3:54, now that is cutting it close. CRAP!

As I made my way through the finishers lanes it was like a death walk. It was quiet, but for the music playing and the guy on the P.A........I got some water and found a wheel chair in the shade and watched as runners were helped to the aid stations and others up-chuck because they drank tooooo much water way toooooo fast after stopping. There were some tough runners here today! To see how people pushed themselves to the line only to need to be carried after that....odd people us runners...

tales from the hood: hi, I'm yellow.

2008-10-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

Logic...it's a tricky thing. What makes TOTAL sense to one person may seem completely unhinged to others. Most of my friends have heard this story before. It happened the year we started the program. One of our few female students at the time, Satin, had been sent to the front office for some kind of problem. I happened to be sitting in the isolation room with several other students during my duty time. She came storming into the office, and this is the conversation that ensued.

Satin (yelling at our security guy, Silas): I HATE THESE MOTHER @#$%IN STUPID-!@@ WHITE B*#$&ES!

Me (leaning out the door and speaking her to her down the hallway): Ah, excuse me Miss Satin, I HOPE, you are not talking about me! Do you want to rephrase that?

Satin: Oh, I wasn't talkin' about you Miss G. You're not white, you're biracial*.

Me: Oh, really?!

Silas: Ah, did you know that you were part black?

Me: Honey, last I checked, both my parents were still white, but I better make a phone call to see if anything has changed.

*I have been called white, pink, and yellow, depending on how they feel about me at the moment. If they like me, I'm biracial. If they hate me, I'm white. Sadly, they have had so many negative experiences with people who are white, they can't bear to recognize that not ALL white people are evil and are racist....so they classify me as anything but white to fit their logic.

tales from the hood: the proposal

2008-10-09T07:00:00.001-05:00

In a previous post, I mentioned that I am sexually harassed on an almost daily (sometimes hourly) basis. It kind of comes with the territory when working with mostly teenage boys with behavior issues. I will spare you the gory details of most of my encounters, but this one is worth repeating publicly. Most of my friends have heard this story already since it happened last year...

The "guilty" party is a 6'5" goofball named Jeremy. Jeremy is rarely ever serious and he rarely ever sits still. His harassing comments usually make my stomach turn, but this conversation was pretty funny.

Jeremy: Miss G, why did you break up with your boyfriend?

Me: Jeremy, it just didn't work out.

Jeremy: Did he cheat on you?

Me: Jeremy, no. Just let it go.

Jeremy: Did he beat you?

Me: Jeremy no. Again, let it go.

Jeremy: I bet he looks like a pirate.

Me: Ah, no. Last I checked, he doesn't own a parrot and still has all his appendages.

Jeremy: I'll marry you Miss G. I'll treat you real nice.

Me: Ew, Jeremy...no.

Jeremy: WHY NOT????!!!

Me: A: I'm not Mary Kay Letourneau, and B: Ew.

Ebony: Oooooo! G, if you let us dress you up, we'd take you out into the hood, and you'd find yourself a man right quick! Guys in our hood would think you real fine!

Me: Ah, no.

Jeremy: G, you wait. Give me a coupla years. When I graduate, we'll get married.

Me: Ah, no. However, I like that you are thinking about getting to graduation.

Jeremy: You just wait G. We'll go to Baltimore for the honeymoon.

Me: Hmmmm...sounds romantic Jeremy, but don't hold your breath.

the battle within

2008-10-06T19:49:00.009-05:00

Ever since June, I've been setting my alarm at 4:15 a.m. What could possibly get me out of bed at that hideous hour everyday (well, except for my one "rest" day per week) for the last 5ish months?

Running, running, some swimming, and more running is the answer.

I am an reasonably intelligent woman. I know that running makes me happy. I know that running keeps me sane. I know that watching the sun rise every morning brings a little extra joy to my life. I know that starting the day with running is when God and I sort out all the junk so I can be....me. Knowing all this, does NOT stop The Battle from occurring EVERY morning*.

The alarm goes off and The Battle commences. The Battle is one between my body and my heart. I equate it to the Great Gazoo. Ya know, that annoying little green alien guy that kept pestering Fred Flintstone all the time and called him a big Dumb-Dumb?!?!

Well, here's how it usually goes:

Me: Aw, heck no! Your bed is so warm and comfortable. DON'T move. Hit snooze and go back to sleep, ya nut job!

The Great Gazoo: Getup. Get up. Get up. You know you want to.

Me: Shut up. I want to sleep.

The Great Gazoo: You love to run...remember? Get out of bed. Once you are out there yoooouu'llll like it!

Me: You are going to just keep talking until I get up aren't you? I'm never going to get any sleep am I?

The Great Gazoo: Nope! You might as well give up. Remember what our good buddy Peter Maher always said, "Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?' Don't be a wimp.

Me: (stretch...lots of loud cracking, snapping, and groaning...step gingerly out of bed) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

The Great Gazoo: Wimp.

Me: Shut up.

*I used to be an evening runner, but I switched to mornings for some insane reason...probably the intense heat of the summer in STL. Now I'm just in the habit and I feel compelled to torture myself every morning. Besides, Gazoo and I have a great routine going.

tales from the hood: brain-mouth filter

2008-09-30T18:37:00.000-05:00

Today's installment is about this little thing we like to call the "brain-mouth filter." This magical device is situated inside our brains and it keeps the things that are going on inside our heads from coming out of our mouths. The adults* in our program actively use this device on a daily basis. Oh, what our mouths would like to say, but our trusty brain-mouth filter brings to a screeching halt. Here are some examples:

Example 1
Me: Tez, what do you call the part of your body attached to your ankle?

Tez: (eye roll) Aw man G, that's easy! It's my foot.

Me: Okay, good. Now, what do you call both of the body parts attached to your ankles.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: Oh' sweet Jesus help me not lose it!

Me: Tez, the word is feet. F-E-E-T. There isn't an "S" on the end of that word. Now you try.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: (sigh) *#$@!

Me: No, Tez. Let's try this again. One of those body parts is called a "foot" (I write it on the board). Some words, when you make them plural, or more than one, you DON'T add "S" to them. You need to change the spelling of the word to make them plural. The word "foot" is one of them. You have to change the two o's to two e's. More than one foot is said "feet" (I write it on the board). Now, you try.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: Stupid, stupid, stupid English language (bang head against wall)!

Me: Forget it Tez, it's okay. We'll try again later.**

Example 2

Me: Darius, please don't start undressing until you get into the locker room. I don't need to see that much of you.

Brain-Mouth Filter: Nor do I want to....

Darius: Aw man Miss G, it's not like you haven't see it before!

Me: That may be true Darius, but I did not ask to see your bare chest, so please put your shirt back on until you get into the locker room (he puts his shirt back on). Thank you Darius.

Brain Mouth Filter: You are sooooo going to get arrested for indecent exposure at some point in your life!

Darius (from the inside of the locker room): MAN! I hate getting dressed in here. It's so claustrophobic up in here. We can't get dressed out there because someone doesn't want to see my giant WIENER!

Me (yelling from outside the locker room): No thanks! I appreciate you saving me from that experience! Good vocabulary though...nice use of claustrophobic!

Brain Mouth Filter: (hilarious laughter) He did NOT just say wiener!?!

And lastly....

I came home from work today to find this flyer in my mailbox. Yup, that's right. Handguns and Rice Krispies my friends. Now, my students can Snap, Crackle, and "Pop" each other over their breakfast cereal! For crying out loud, what is this world coming to?!

*We try to teach the students to use this device too, but they haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet. It's an uphill battle. It doesn't stop us from trying though.
**Tez is a 9th grader that came to us mid-year last year. We have had this conversation many, many,(sigh), many times.

irksome ike

2008-09-27T22:02:00.000-05:00

If my regular readers are observant, they might be wondering why I didn't post a race report for the Lewis and Clark Half Marathon that I was registered to run on the 14th. The side bar list of my races completed has a nasty "DNS" next to it. So, here's the scoop...

Katie and I picked up our race packets the day before at the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles. We took the requisite Runner Dork pics. I discovered that my race bib was #2!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! Well, as a HUGE Runner Dork, I was jumping up and down with glee with that bib number. No, I don't have a particular fondness for the #2. I play a game during longer and crowded races. It's the "Find the Lowest Bib Number Game." Oh' don't judge...you know you secretly do the same thing...or some other variation of some stupid game. We all do weird things to pass the time during a long run.

The next morning came early...very early...3:30 a.m. early. I awoke to the lovely sensation of a sore throat that felt like I was swallowing sand laced with shards of glass. I drove to Katie's place, where we switched cars and her parents drove us to the race. It was pouring rain when I left my house. It turned into a light drizzle at Katie's place. By the time we got to the exit for the race start, it was an all out scary storm. We kept trying to make light of the situation by saying how cool of a race story it was going to make...we ran in a tropical depression! Katie's dad kept telling us to fudge the story a little and call it Hurricane Ike, since technically it was Ike...just down-graded.

It took us a better part of an hour to get from the ramp to the parking lot. The race had already started. We had timing chips, so it didn't really matter that we were late. The parking attendants were standing knee deep in water. Katie's dad parked by a Johnny on the Spot. He opened the door to make a mad dash to the "spot" and the wind nearly took the door off. Katie got a text from a friend who was watching her fiance run the marathon. She reported that she saw a girl run by in waist deep water. I looked at Katie. She looked at me. I said, "Aw Katie, this is your call. I've done this before. I know this is your first half, and if you want to run, I'll run with you. It's your decision." She made the call and we decided that we would turn around and go home. I barely made it home. Several of the major interstates and highways were closed due to flooding. I had to take several detours and, once I made it to my town, considered abandoning my car and running home. It would have been safer. I had to get off the main road and leap frog from parking lot to street to parking lot to street in order to make it home without drowning my car.

By the time I got home, I was in full-fledged sicko mode. I slept for four hours on the couch. I woke up and got a text from my friend James who started the race and reported that they ended the race after 10 miles. He was on pace for a PR! He's a machine...who runs a PR in the middle of the remnants of a hurricane?!?! They had to reroute the course several times due to flooding. They lost radio communication and were not able to safely support the runners in case there was a medical emergency. We wouldn't have been able to finish the race anyway.

I was completely bummed that I didn't get to run it, after training for it all summer. However, my heart just broke for my friends that trained for it as first-timers and/or had trained for the full marathon. Katie ended up going home and running 13 miles anyway (see her "race report" here). Kyle sent me a text on his way home from the race, asking me if I knew of any half marathons coming up locally. He was already planning his comeback. Cheri (who weighs about 90 pounds...I'm surprised she didn't blow away) braved the storm and tried to power through to run the marathon, only to be cut short. James blasted through 10 miles, only to be forced to stop by race officials. Kristin and her husband were first timers and tearfully told me that "I already knew I could run 10 miles...I ran that last week! I just wanted to finish!" Dave, who stood up to his personal demons and chose sobriety, used his marathon training as part of his path to recovery. You all handled your disappointment with grace, humor, and integrity. Your perseverance through the training was amazing and I am so proud of you. I am honored and humbled to call you friends.

bubba gets picked first in gym class

2008-09-18T18:36:00.000-05:00

My school district has partnered with our health insurance company to sponsor a 200-day Wellness Challenge. Here are the rules:
1. Teams will be comprised of four staff members. Name your team***.
2. Each team must assign a Team Leader.
3. Individually track your steps on a daily basis with the provided pedometer.
4. Submit your tracking sheets with a monthly grand total to your Team Leader on the first of each month.
5. Winners will be announced at the Health Fair.

What do we win?...a $500 American Express gift card (split into 4 cards for each team member)...and bragging rights that will be celebrated for YEARS to come.

Before you read my comments below about my excitement over my first round draft pick, I want to preface it with how COOL I think this challenge is. I'm so happy that I work for a district that is encouraging their staff to practice healthy habits. I absolutely adore the people I work with closely on a daily basis. I want them to be around for a very, very long time. I'm all for helping all of us to lead healthier, more active lifestyles. All joking aside, I am so proud of everyone who signed up for this and they are all winners in my book for taking steps to improve their health.

Now, I was a girl who NEVER got picked first for ANY organized sport in gym class. I'm about as uncoordinated at team sports as a toddler...who is blindfolded and (if it wasn't considered child abuse)drunk. Lets face it, not many elementary and middle school kids are challenging each other to any endurance feat* during recess or P.E. class, so I never got my moment to shine.

Well, I would like to announce...MY MOMENT HAS COME!!!!

I am part of a carefully recruited team comprised of:
1. Rob...soccer player (part of an indoor league), softball player (part of two teams), P.E. teacher, and dog owner.
2. Derek...stepfather of an active youngin', therapist, and dog owner.
3. Tracy...my preggers boss (Tracy, I love you honey, but you are our handicap), and dog owner
4. Me...marathon runner, teacher, dog owner

Why we are going to kick-a##:
soccer + softball + marathon training + teachers** + therapist** + principal** + parent +7 dogs in need of walking= VICTORY!!!!!

Please forgive me for a moment here. I don't want to seem over confident, but I've NEVER been in a position to trash talk. I just need to do it...just this once. I need to do this for all the uncoordinated freaks out there who never got picked first to be on the team at recess. This one's for you...

We are striking fear into the hearts of many. The kick-off meeting was held two days ago. I walked in the room and immediately had several co-workers at other buildings pointing at me and asking me to join their teams. The middle school principal took one look at me and said, "Awwwww heck no. We already know this team is going to win...they got Betsy."

The following morning, I started my usual routine...I went for a run. I started my marathon training this week, so the mileage hasn't been that tough yet. I ran 5 miles. I had over 7,000 steps logged before I even got out of the car to enter the school building that morning. The students were curious about the pedometers. When they found out what we were doing, they got into the trash talking too. They kept taking polls on who had the most steps throughout the day and were reporting the updates to the other staff. By the time I made it to the after school meetings, I had over 12,000 steps logged. One of my friends who works in our program at the elementary school, looked at my pedometer as I was walking by and yelled, "OH MAN! THAT IS SOOOOO NOT FAIR! SHE HAS 7,000 MORE STEPS THAN I DO! SHE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE IN THIS COMPETITION!" I looked at her and laughed. I told her I worked really hard for those steps and every last one of them deserved to be counted. By the time I went to bed that night I had 15,661 steps recorded. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I had only just begun. God willing and barring any mob action knee cap busting, between now and the end of the competition, I will have trained for and competed in a full marathon, two half marathons, a 15K, a 10 mile river road run, and a winter long-distance race series.

Here's to you Bubba...it's been a long time coming, but you finally got picked.

*Well, except for who can punch one another in the stomach the most before someone yells "UNCLE!"
** "Teacher," "therapist," and "principal" are all job titles at my school for people who chase kids down = automatic step bonus.
***We need a good team name and t-shirt idea....Please send me suggestions!!!

lousy lazy people

2008-09-12T18:12:00.000-05:00

I have a bone to pick with the organizers of the Phoenix Rock n' Roll Marathon. I registered for the race this spring. The event isn't until January. I showed commitment. I decided I wanted to do it and went for it. Since then, I have received a series of emails from the marathon organizers with teaser topics like "Win a free Garmin!" or "Ultimate VIP Escape." Yes, they are offering a free Garmin:
Garmin Giveaway
Need a little extra motivation to get in shape or surpass your fitness goals? Garmin will help you keep track of your time, distance and speed throughout your training.

Now through August 31, Garmin is offering you a chance to win a top of the line Garmin 405 Forerunner!

Yes, they are offering a VIP escape to a fancy spa:
One lucky person will win the “Ultimate VIP Escape” prize package for two that includes 3-nights accommodations at The Arizona Biltmore, a $100 Gift Card to P.F. Chang’s China Bistro, New Balance Running Shoes, Race Week VIP Perks
and more!

Now here's the lousy catch....if you read the "rules," if you registered before July 7th, you can only get the Garmin if you refer a friend to register for the race. You can't get the spa escape if you registered before September 1st...but you can get a chance if you get a friend to register.

SERIOUSLY!!!??!??! Where's the logic? Where's the love for the early bird?!?! Sure, you show automatic love to my late registering friends, but I have to be your little recruiter to reap the rewards?* Please feel free to tell me if I'm being a whiny baby about this....

*Yes, after I stop stomping my feet and pouting** for a few minutes, I will realize that I will reap lovely intrinsic rewards like a sense of accomplishment, continued perseverance, increased strength, endurance, new friendships, etc., etc., etc., for running the race. I know we don't run for the tangible rewards, but for the love of the sport.
**Sniff, sniff...waahh...but, but, but IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

tales from the hood: dressing the part

2008-09-10T13:23:00.001-05:00

Here's your next installment from a day in my life in the hood....

Me: Come on Ty'Esha, let's go!

Ty'Esha: I CAAAN'T! I GOTSTA GO GET MY EARRRRRINGS!

Me: You can give your earrings to me and I'll put them in my pocket. I promise I will give them back to you after class. Come on, hurry.

Ty'Esha: I don't want to take them out, I need to change my earrings!

Me: What? Why?!

Ty'Esha: I want to change my earrings because these don't match my gym uniform.

Me: Awwww...come on, you've GOT to be kidding me. Ty'Esha...we're going to be late!

Ty'Esha: BUT MISS G-EEEEEE, I GOTS TO LOOK GOOD?! WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES ME?!!!!

Me: (Sigh) Ty'Esha, honey, don't you know you look beautiful no matter what you have dangling from your ear lobes? Why do you want to look good for these boys*?

Ty'Esha: (VERY LOUD lip smack) I'M NOT LOOKIN' GOOD FOR THESE LITTLE BOYS! WHAT IF TYRON OR JAUAN COME IN THERE FROM THE MIDDLE SCHOOL?!

Me: Honey, if they don't like you because of your lack of earrings, you don't want to have anything to do with them. They need to like you just the way you are.

Ty'Esha: (eye-roll combined with a lot of foot stomping and a very poorly hidden smile) WEEELLLL, if they come in there, I'ma gonna run right in the locker room and put these back on right quick. I gotsta look GOOOOD.

*I'm not putting my male students down, mind you. She is always calling them "little boys" and usually won't give them the time of day. I was just throwing her own words back at her to see what she would say.

tales from the hood

2008-09-04T17:34:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start a new blog series about convos I have with my students. I *heart* them and I hope you find them as entertaining as I do. Today's installment happened today...and it just happens to be about running.

Andrew: Aw, maaaaaan! I hope we don't have to run outside today for P.E. It's raining and I just had my braids re-done.

Me: Come on Andrew! It's not that bad. I ran in the rain this morning! It can be fun!

Julia: Did you run a marathon?

Me: No, Julia I just ran 3 miles. I would have to get up at 2 a.m. to run a marathon before work.

Andrew: Doesn't your hair get ruined in the rain?

Me: No, my hair is different than yours.

Andrew: Oh. G, how long is a marathon?

Me: 26.2 miles

Andrew: Aw.....HEEELLLLL NO!

Bijon: Whoa.

Me: Andrew, language.

Andrew: I I I I I'm sorry G, my bad. (Andrew stutters horribly when he gets excited). What's the longest you've ever run?

Me: 26.2 miles

Andrew: Is is is is tttthat like from here to Alton?

Me: No. It's farther.

Julia, Andrew, and Bijon: AWWWWW....HELLLLL NO!

Me: Language.

Andrew: Ssssorry G. Sssso how far is it then?

Me: It would be about the same as running to the mall from here...

Andrew: NO WAY!!! G, THAT'S CRAZY!!!

Me: Wait, Andrew...I didn't finish. It's like running from here to the mall AND back...plus a few more blocks.

Andrew: AND BBBBACK? Oh, no. Oh no. Oh no. I could never do that G. You're going to live forever G.

gangsta' factor

2008-08-26T19:03:00.000-05:00

I've been back at work since the end of July, but my students' first week of school was last week. I have to say that I'm glad to be back. However stressful and sometimes dangerous my job can be, I really love what I do. I love my students, and I've missed the goofy things they say.

Case in point....

Conversation between Jeremy (a 6'4" giant who is an amazingly talented basketball player) and I as I escorted a group of students to their P.E. class:

Me: Jeremy, what's going on? You are so quiet!

Jeremy: I hate running. I'm not going to do it.

Me: Aw, come on, it's not that bad! Don't you have to run up and down the basketball court? You need to practice running to get better at basketball.

Jeremy: Well, ya...but it's not the same thing. I'm already the best at basketball. Besides, I'm quitting basketball.

Me: Well, okay...don't you still play street ball? You still have to run to play.

Jeremy: G*, it's not the same.

Me: Well, would it help if I gave you a basketball to bounce as you ran around the track?

Jeremy: [eye roll]

* My students often call me "G." Sometimes it stands for "gangsta" and sometimes it stands for the first letter of my last name. In this case I think he was referring to my last name because my "gangsta" factor is in direct relation to the coolness rating of the advice I'm dispensing.

hello, OCD

2008-08-18T19:57:00.000-05:00

After I finished a swim last week at the Y, the lifeguard stopped me. He asked if I was signed up for their distance challenge. No two words are more dangerous in the English language to Betsy than "distance challenge." He explained that it was a running tally of Y swimmers' laps. All we have to do is tell the guard our total for that day at the end of our workout and they enter it into our own personal "challenge chart." I'm used to thinking of workouts in yards, not laps, so I spend a lot of my workout trying to convert them in my head (there is a reason why I am not a math teacher). Whoever has the highest number of laps at the end of the year wins some (to be determined) prize. The prize could be a pair of Speed Sockets...I could care less. The challenge has been made. I shall not resist. I have an inkling that I will not meet the challenge this year because it started in January...all that pesky marathon training is getting in the way. However, come January 2nd...IT'S ON!!!

On the running front...
I tried a Vanilla Orange Carb Boom!* for my 10 mile run on Saturday. The verdict?
Taste-made me gag
Energy Level-Eh...nothing to write home about. I'm willing to try it again, but I think the GU and Hammer Gel work better.

*I love that they put an exclamation mark at the end of their product name...like that extra punctuation is going to make you run faster.

8 on the 8th Olympic Style Race Report

2008-08-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

My Non-Runner Nancy virtual race turned out to be 9 on the 9th. We were challenged to do it with some sort of Olympic flare, but the closest I got was simulating the polluted air of Beijing by running a route along the congested main street in my town, with a little construction sand mixed in...apparently Beijing has a high concentration of desert sand in their air. I flirted with the idea of prancing around my living room with one of marathon medals post race, but I refrained. I don't have good curtain coverage on my living room windows and the neighbors may have questioned my sanity more than they already do. Here's my play by play report...

Night before: I'm only including this part because I was so proud of myself for planning ahead. I had a baked potato with black beans and veggies for dinner. Potatoes work better for me than pasta for carbo-loading. I added in the beans for extra protein to see how it would affect my run. I kinda lost some nutritional brownie points later that evening when I had a low fat ice cream cone from McD's with a friend (seriously, is crack on a cone).

Pre-race: I slept in until about 6:30 (whoo hoo!). Had some Simply Harvest while I waited for the dogs to do their business. I'm experimenting with pre-race meals* to see how it effects my time/stomach/need for a toitee. I usually do toast with peanut butter and a banana before a big race (just a banana or other fruit before a morning run). I'm also experimenting with energy gels. I downed some water and tried a Hammer Gel for the first time (tropical flavored). I put my water bottle and my baggie of Clif Bloks in my mailbox and away I went!

Race: I will spare you a mile by mile replay. Especially considering I was going solo, I don't have any dramatic battles or happy runner conversations to re-enact for you. I do have to say, I felt AMAZING!!! The weather was beautiful. We had a break in the heat and humidity. It felt like going on that first fall run of invincibility when your body wakes up and realizes that you aren't running with a 2 ton anvil on your back. It was one of those runs that you remember and cling to when the going gets tough and you have to remind yourself that running feels amazing...like you can do anything, go any distance, and you just can't wait to do it again. The only mishap was that I was so in the zone**, that I missed my scheduled water stop at the police station. I had gone a mile past the station before I even realized where I was, so I decided not to back track and waited until I looped back by my mailbox. I also tried out one of my new running skirts. I purchased two different brands online, both the same size. I tried out the first one earlier this week and it fit well. The one I wore yesterday was way too big, so I had to keep pulling it up for fear that I would be giving local traffic a little show.
My time at the 8 mile mark: 1:17.42
My time at the 9 mile mark: 1:26.53
I ran 20 minutes faster than my super 15K race two weekends ago, which kind of gives you an idea of how miserable I was during that race. Proper fueling, weather conditions, and a well planned race REALLY make a difference!

Post Race: I refrained from doing a happy dance around my living room and decided to try the Hour-After Plan outlined in the latest Runners World. I got as far as the "5 minutes after" hydrate step before I got side tracked (hello, ADHD). I did eventually eat and stretch though. I ended the race with Olympic flare by doing the legs up the wall stretch*** while I watched the Olympics on T.V.

*The hot cereal worked great. I liked the added almonds for extra protein and yumminess. Hammer Gel tasted like what I imagine a## in a tube would taste like, but it was effective. After I fought back my gag reflex, I was able to stomach it. I liked that it has less calories than Gu (I'd rather ingest calories that I actually enjoy). The packaging was a little awkward...I nearly lacerated the roof of my mouth on the wrapper (GU packets are smaller).
**Bubba was thinking about Laura's foray with the Gooey Butter Cake and realized that I should have told her about O'Connell's Pub. They have a Gooey Butter Cookie, which would have saved her (and the hotel plumber) from committing the crime of flushing Gooey Butter goodness down the toilet.
***Note to self: Take shoes off before doing this stretch...you will have some explaining to do about why you have scuff marks on your wall.

Quatchi gets chicked

2008-08-05T07:20:00.000-05:00

I've been swimming about 2-3 days a week in addition to my usual 5 day/week run schedule. I HATE to lift weights, so I figured swimming covered my upper body strength training, a little bit of core work, and fed my unending need for endurance endorphins. Plus, it's something I know how to do. I spent more of my life in water than on land for the first 20+ years of my life as a competitive swimmer, water polo player, and (gasp!) a synchronized swimmer.*

Yes, yes, feel free to laugh hysterically now. I'll wait.........

.....done yet? No? Okay, take your time..............

Okay, now that you've sufficiently recovered...

So after years of green hair, wearing drag suits that made me look like I got mauled by a bear, having the shoulders of a linebacker (my speciality was the 100 fly), dealing with hand cramps from unending bouts of jazz hands, and watching my skin dry out like a prune, I hung up my fins and traded them in for a pair of Asics.

Happily ensconced in the running groove, I managed to cut out all other activity. This brain trust move netted me a laundry list of injuries and very impressive set of incredible hulk legs **. Seeing the error of my ways, I've re-integrated swimming back into my routine.

Which brings me to my story from yesterday's trip to the Y.*** For several weeks now, I have found myself swimming with the same group of people. We don't talk much. Swimmers aren't as chatty and friendly as runners. It must be the whole I-may-drown-myself-if-I-open-my-mouth-to-speak thing....details. One particular guy and I always manage to end up having to share a lane. Swimming laps in public is a lot like carpooling with a stranger, only with a lot less clothing. There will never be a situation where you will voluntarily dress in clothing that resembles underwear and get close enough to a person to see their back hair (hopefully males only)in public and it be "normal."**** So, yesterday evening Sasquatch and I were destined to share a lane...again. However, we had the added bonus of two other strapping (albeit less hairy) young lads in the lane next to us. Now, I had already run early that morning and put in a full day's work, so I was pretty wiped out, but I couldn't resist trying to keep up with the boys. Nitmos and Vanilla seem to have a fascination with getting "chicked" while running...well, I was on a one-chick mission to not get "Sasquatched.*****" I quickly realized after literally eating their wake and feeling like, "Yes, now I know what it must feel like to do an open water
swim in a triathlon," I wasn't going to chick them on sheer speed. I then proceeded to puff myself up and did whatever any self-respecting marathon runner would do...I chicked them on distance. Sure, any Yeti can swim fast and "harass humans traveling through a forest"******, but can those giant man beasts go the distance? So, who prevailed in the battle of Quatchi versus TheBets?

....Yup, you guessed it, Quatchi got chicked. He tuckered out every couple laps, trying to impress me with his speediness, but *yawn* I wasn't impressed. It takes a lot to impress a green tinted, giant calved, purple short donning, jazzy handed, endurance freak. Better men have tried...and failed. We shall meet again on Friday, O'Hairy One. Maybe we should start carpooling....

*None of these pictures are of me, of course. I have long retired my sequins and matchie matchie swim suits.
**Now try to get the mental picture of a green-skinned, purple short clad monster doing jazz hands out of your mind.
***No, as far as I know I did not have a run in with Hot Dad.
****Unless, of course, you are a stripper. Side note to my side note...I was in a computer training today for a reading program for my students. One of the reading prompts asked them to identify the sight words "lap" "cash" "pole" and "dancing." I about fell out of my chair. REALLY??? Awww...come on! REALLY??? I can't make this stuff up. Either my computer had a dirty, dirty mind or their random word selector has a pervy virus.
*****If you guys can have your own made-up word for getting trounced by a girl, we can have one for when we are beat by hairy beasts.
******Seriously, who knew Teddy Roosevelt wrote a book about the territorial habits of Sasquatches? Ahhh...gotta love this great country.

bubba's perfect gift

2008-08-02T08:57:00.000-05:00

I celebrated my 32nd birthday on Independence Day this past month. A few weeks later, I got a text message from Kir. She was in Philly doing a triathlon. The text said that she had just found the perfect birthday gift for me when she went to pick up her race packet. I assumed the gift was running related, so my interest was peaked. What could it be? Goofy bumper sticker? Funny running shirt? A case of discounted Body Glide? East Coast Hot Runner Guy? Sadly, she made me wait to find out what it was....she sent it in the mail.

Well, a few weeks go by and I was eagerly awaiting my human-sized UPS box with air holes (After all, we can't have Hot Runner Guy suffocating, can we?). Alas, the delivery was a large white envelope instead. Yipee!!! My "perfect gift" had arrived. I ripped the envelope open and....

.....ta da!

Bubba was very happy! It was a Bondi Band dedicated to him. Aw, thanks Kir!

Now, I have never used a Bondi Band before, so I was intrigued. I sweat buckets when I run, so I was a little skeptical that it would work. I've worn it for a few weeks now, and I have to say I'm impressed by it's absorbency. I still get sweat in my eyes, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I tend to pull it down every once in a while and use it to wipe my eyes...it's quite handy. The only down side is that I forget that I'm wearing it and often wonder why people are staring at me so much, until I realize that they are trying to read my forehead. This,and the fact that I'm advertising that I like to eat, maaaaay be one of the reasons why I'm still single.

Just a side note about Bubba....I think he thinks I may have scurvy. I have eaten an obscene amount of fruit and vegetables in the past five days. Here's the break down...
oranges: 5
plums: 5

kiwis: 5
bananas: 10
salads: 4
bags of frozen veggies: 2
apples: 2
handfuls of dried cranberries: too many to count
watermelon: 1/4
Bubba: happy
TheBets: acidic mouth screaming for mercy

O'Fallon Summer Sizzler* Race Report

2008-07-29T15:15:00.000-05:00

And the winner is.....(drum roll please).......
NOT ME!!!
Sadly, no gold medal honors this time around. Apparently there are more girly sissy runners in the dead of winter than there are in the dead of summer. The girl who was at the top of the heap ran it in 1:13:21...Ahhh ya, that wasn't me. I'm just glad I survived the dang thing. It was a very frustrating experience. Now that I've had some time to cool off (in more ways than one), I am now prepared to give a race report.

Pre-race: My alarm didn't go off, but I magically woke myself up on my own in enough time to scramble out of bed, throw some gear on and make it to the race on time. Luckily, I had laid everything out the night before. I packed my fuel belt in anticipation of the heat. I knew, from the race I ran on the same course two winters ago, that the race would not be staffed well and I wanted to be prepared with extra water. I felt like a big running geek because I was the only runner wearing the equivalent of a runners' pocket protector, but I got over it. During the course briefing, they reminded us that it was a "super" 15k, which means they tagged on an additional .2 miles, making the official race distance 9.5 miles....SUUUPPPPER!!! Also, the Y had invested in timing chips for the event, which was new and exciting.

So here are a few mental notes I took during the race....

1. As I stated in my previous post, the course is on a road called Seven Hills Road. It's a VERY steep set of hills that run along a two lane highway (with a few side jaunts into some neighborhoods), which means:
-Lots of yummy road kill...I counted six raccoons, three birds, about half a dozen froggies, and one unidentifiable heap of a carcass.
-Absolutely no shade....blazing sun....96% humidity.
-Bonus licence plate game activity! Katie and I are on a non-road trip license plate game kick (Yes, we're huge dorks, but I prefer "cute and endearing"). I managed to get Alaska, Hawaii, and North Dakota during the race!

2. Most people don't like to run 15Ks. It got kinda lonely because there were only 44 runners on our course (there were more 10k and 5k runners). I only had three short convos of note.
#1 Passed older man who made a comment about the lack of Johnny on the Spots...I told him the cornfield on the right was his best bet.
#2 Passed a huge military lookin' guy and I offered him some of my water. He said thanks, but he thought he could make it to the next water stop, and he was just ready for the dang thing to be over.
#3 Got passed by two ladies running together, and the second one made some comment to me about how much this race sucked.

Which brings me to why we were all incredibly frustrated.....

3. In the span of 9.5 miles, they had three water stops...at mile 3, mile 7, and mile 9. They gave us about 4 oz. of warm water in Styrofoam cups. The stops were manned by people with the maximum age of 16, minimum age of about 10. They had no Gatorade, no medical support, no bathroom facilities, and no vehicle support to check on the runners. Every once in a while they had these water stop mirages. The volunteers wore fluorescent yellow t-shirts that could be seen from really far away. They had a few strategically placed volunteers on the course with cowbells, supposedly encouraging the runners. We kept thinking they were water stops, but they were just cowbell teasers**. We would have given anything to have those bells filled with icy cold beverages instead of useless metal clangers. By about mile 6, I saw more walkers than runners....people were dropping like flies. I think we were all scared that if we didn't slow down, we might pass out...and who would find us? I finally gave in to the heat and walked the upsides of the last few hills. I ran out of water at mile 7 and didn't want to push it too much. Needless to say, most of us were pretty frustrated at the end of the race and vowed to write strongly worded letters/emails to the race director in protest.

Now, before you call me a sissy girl, I have to clarify a few things. Having done a fall marathon, I'm no stranger to long runs in the heat. I also have run in summer races that are really well organized.***The race organizers neglected to follow the rules that most experienced runners know as basic common sense:
-Always start running early.
-Hydrate well...place water out on your route ahead of time, carry water with you, plan a route that has drinking fountains strategically placed, and/ or alternate between water and Gatorade, Gu20, etc. if you are running a longer distance.
-Run where there is shade.
-Make sure you run in populated areas in case you need help (or a potty).
-If you can get your neighbors or random strangers to spray you with their garden hoses as you run by, it's always a bonus...just make sure you are properly lubed up.

*Remind me to never run a race with "sizzle" in the title again.
**Don't substitute cow bells for fluids. They will make your dehydration headache worse...and make you want to beat an innocent 10 year old volunteer senseless with a metal noisemaker.
***The Boilermaker in NY is a good one-great spectator and volunteer support, water stops every mile, and they even have an unofficial a popsicle stop!

gold medal champion

2008-07-25T18:47:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning I am going to revisit my championship race...the O'Fallon 15K. There is a legacy to live up to here...a lot of pressure. Now, my friends would tell me NOT to share the complete story with you, but I am going to give you full disclosure. I would hate to be found out later.

Two winters ago I ran the same 15K course over Super Bowl weekend. It was my first 15K. Tomorrow's race will be my third official 9.3 mile race (I also ran the Boilermaker last summer). The same Y is having a repeat race in October, called the Fall Finale 15K...if you're in the area you should register and run it with me, of course if you aren't intimidated about running with a champion (hardy, har, har).

As a tribute to my race tomorrow and my moment of glory, I am going to recap my original O'Fallon 15K. The "original" was run in sub-zero cold with a blinding, mind numbing, fierce, I-feel-like-I'm-in-a-wind-tunnel wind. The race course is on a road called Seven Hills Road. It actually has SEVEN hills. It's not false advertising. Combined with the wind and the sharply graded hills, I often felt like I wasn't actually moving. At times, I actually felt like I was running backwards. Needless to say, I didn't think I was going to do well, but since it was my first 15K it was a guaranteed PR. The event has a 5K and a 10K that runs at the same time. The 5K and 10K runners split off from the 15K runners shortly after the start. When I got to this point in the race course, I noticed that the race field for the 15Kers was quite small, so it quickly became a very lonely run. When I finished I decided to stick around and be social, to congratulate the winners, defrost, and possibly collect a ribbon. I figured since the race was so small, I might actually have placed somewhere in my age or gender group. The race officials eventually got to the 15Kers and told us to meet them at the main Y office to collect our prizes and to get our official times. The race directer looked at me and asked my name. She then smiled and handed me....a GOLD MEDAL! I had placed first out of all the females and first in my age group. I'm cool.

And now.....the WHOLE truth.....

I have to confess that there were only three females in the race.

So, tomorrow I will revisit the "gold medal" course, only it will be a blistering 90-something degree morning. The race will have a completely different set of extreme weather conditions, but hopefully there will be a bunch of sissy girly runners out there that will decide to sleep in instead of sweating it out on good ol' Seven Hills Road...and I can have a repeat "gold medal" performance.

seriously bad runner 'tudes

2008-07-20T20:50:00.000-05:00

So, I just took a trip to Chi-town to visit my brother, SIL, and niece. They live in the house where I grew up, so I'm very familiar with the neighborhood. There is an elaborate trail system a block from the house. I was VERY excited to run on it because a lot of it is gravel. It was a much needed break from my usual pavement pounding. It was also REALLY great not having to wake up before dawn every morning to run in a tolerable temperature...it was actually still in the seventies at 8:00!!! Woo-hoooo!

Now, having lived on both coasts, I normally sing the praises of the friendliness (is that even a word?) level of midwesterners*. However, if you ask a Chicagoan, anything south of Joliet is "The South." Having lived in "The South" for four years now, I've now realized that I've grown used to overly friendly and outgoing people...ya know, people who actually make eye contact and don't think you are crazy or out to mug them. So here is a recap of my "rude" awakening....

Day one: No run, just watched longingly as runners in the neighborhood were cruising around the streets that evening. I had about four hours of sleep and sat on a train for 6 hours. I decided to take a rest day.

Day two: Headed out on the trail at 8:00 a.m. It was breezy, cool, and a perfect day for a run! Yipee!!!! The trail was PACKED with people running! I was very excited to be running with so many buddies! I was a little confused why so many people were running and not at work, but I was glad for the company. My excitement ended as I tried to make eye contact with my new runnin' buds. I said "Good morning!" Nothing. Nada. Cricket chirping silence. Unfazed, I kept on running and waving at people, trying to get SOME kind of response. I finished the run, a little disappointed.

Day three: Headed out around the same time as the day before. I see a few of the same people...still no love. Some of them even have a very serious looking scowl on their faces! My niece does a good reenactment of the scowl.
I was beginning to think these people don't even like running! I stopped trying eventually. One notable event was that I saw Hot Runner Vacation Guy. He was waaaay too young for me. Probably some guy home on college summer break...more like a Hot Runner Puppy.

Day four: Headed out early for this run. I had to leave for the train station around 7 a.m. There were less people out at this time, but they were a lot friendlier. Most of them exchanged my morning greeting and I even got a few waves! Yeah for early runners! Maybe that was my problem?!

*Chicagoans have been top on my list of friendly people in the past...this could have been a total fluke, so please don't send me any mean, hateful, "How could you trounce your hometown peeps?!" comments.

tiny woodland creatures

2008-07-08T05:08:00.000-05:00

I've been MIA from the blogosphere for a few weeks. I've been busy. I've become a murderer of tiny woodland creatures. Granted, this post has very little to do with running, (unless you count me running around with several cases of the heebie geebies), but you'll have to humor me for an off topic post.

Tiny creature victim #1: Baby Birdie
Birds nest between my roof and my screened-in porch every year. Every year, some overly ambitious young chick decides to launch itself out of the nest prematurely, inevitably causing death. Last week, I discovered Baby Birdie laying on the ground next to the back patio, tempting my dogs to ingest it as a Scooby snack. After jumping up and down and doing my first rendition of the Heebie Geebie dance (cross training?), I scooped Baby Birdie up with my pooper scooper and tossed it in the poop bucket for his burial...I know, I know....I'm a horrible person.

Tiny creature victim #2: Wee Wittle Sparrow
Last week I noticed random splotches of white on my countertops. I couldn't figure out what it was. On Friday, I noticed it running down the mirror in my upstairs hallway. I thought it might be a friend's hair gel. She came over for to go for a walk and took a shower at my house before we headed out to a friends' house for a party. Then it dawned on me that it looked like bird doo. I thought, "Naw, not possible. How could a bird be pooing in my house? I haven't seen or heard one?!" The idea stuck in my head though. I kept entering every room gingerly, thinking that a bird was going to swoop out at me...but it never happened. Then late one night, I noticed something as I passed my spare room on my way to bed. Sure enough, there was a dead birdie laying on the floor under the door frame. I did the heebie geebie run back down the stairs, grabbed a broom and a dust pan, and swept up the wee wittle sparrow. I did the heebie geebie run down the stairs again and ran out the front door, across the front porch, and threw the wee wittle sparrow into my neighbor's bushes. He's biodegradable, right?! I knew I couldn't sleep with him laying in the trash can, so I decided to fertilize my neighbor's bushes....I was being neighborly right?!

Tiny Creature Victim #3: Spinning Turtle
Several friends and I were carpooling to church on Sunday. We were cruisin' along on the interstate, engrossed in conversation. All of a sudden, we heard a distinctive crunch. It sounded like I ran over something and popped my tire. I quickly looked in my rear view mirror to try to identify the obstacle. However, instead of seeing the usual road trash, I saw a cute little turtle spinning and flipping into the air like someone had just flipped a giant coin. Of course I was immediately distraught at my unintentional turtle-slaughter. My friends tried to convince me that I had just given him a fun ride, that he landed safely, and made it to the other side of the road. Or, that his buddy, who was on the side of the road, came out and rescued him, carrying him to safety. A conversation on turtles' ability or inability to flip themselves over once they are on their back ensued, which did NOT make me feel better.

me and 60,000 of my friends

2008-06-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

A week ago today was the Komen Race for the Cure (I'm a wee bit behind on my blogging). The Race for the Cure is a cause near and dear to my heart because my grandmother died of breast cancer many moons ago. I have run it the past three years in her honor.
St.Louis competes every year to have the biggest race. I think they probably made their goal this year. I tried to run the 5K with 60,000+ other runners/walkers. It was mostly a lot of dodging, bobbing, weaving, and trying not to fall and break every bone in my body as a stampede of people moved down the streets of St. Louis. I considered giving myself PR props for surviving the race unscathed. Here are a few pics of the race, but you really had to be there to truly appreciate the sheer number of people who were out there, supporting such a worthy cause...saving the ta-tas.

Melinda and I before the race. This was Melinda's first race! Her mom and one of her grandmothers are breast cancer survivors.

The Mighty Kate, Kate's husband Skip, Kate's mom, and one of their friends before the race.

My friend Katie with Melinda....Katie is training to run her first half marathon with me in September!

Holy Moly that's a lot of people! The sea of people you see up ahead of us on that hill extended in the same way behind us....60,000 is A LOT of people!

Crazy guy running in a bear costume...

Katie and I walked down to the Arch after the race. The rising Mississippi is creeping it's way into the city.

The city dyed the fountain pink in honor of the race.

blisters

2008-06-19T10:16:00.000-05:00

Random question for my fellow running bloggers....

Why is that I can run miles and miles of training runs blister-free, but when I run a race (no matter what the length) I end up with blisters on my toes?

It's definitely a head scratcher...

Oh...and here's a picture I took at the gym the other day that gave me the giggles. Not that fathers can't be hot, it just struck me as funny that he was advertising...Do his kids call him that? Did his wife make him get that plate?

back in the saddle again

2008-06-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

I *heart* running. After a forced four day detox, I am back in the saddle again. I was crawling up the walls by Wednesday. I love to be outside and I wasn't even allowed to do that...talk about cabin fever! I took a short spin around the neighborhood on Thursday after work, another one Friday morning, ran the Route 66 10K on Saturday morning, and ran a recovery run this morning. Ahhhhhh....it's good to be back.

I've never run a 10K race. I've ran every other random competitive distance (besides the ultra) that I can think of though, which I find rather odd. So here's my first competitive 10K race report.....(drum roll please).

Friday evening: I went to Bipod to pick up my race packet. They made a mistake and had my registration down as a non-competitive runner, so my time wasn't going to be recorded for the age group results. They wouldn't change it for me either. It was kind of a bummer, but I thought I would just wear my watch and hopefully remember to pay attention to it when I crossed the finish line. The goodie bag had a key chain flashlight, a regular key chain, a can cozy, and some Biofreeze (Yeah!...great stuff). The t-shirt was Cool-Max, but enormous and a hideous gray color. My pre-race dinner consisted of a handful of Cheez-its and half a frosted oatmeal cookie from the Cupcakery in the Central West End. Ahhh...the dinner of champions.

Saturday pre-race: Woke up to a foggy cool morning...perfect, not too hot or muggy. I got ready to go, had a good breakfast, and headed out the door. I drove about a mile and remembered that I forgot my ipod and turned around. I made it to the race in plenty of time. While I was waiting for it to start, I struck up a conversation with a fellow runner. She BQ'd and ran it this year. I admired her Garmin and we chatted excitedly about running, races, training, etc. while we waited for the race to start. I knew I would never be able to keep up with her, so I told her to run ahead without me.

Race miles 1-2ish-The course ran along some of the city streets...lots of potholes, hills, and brick paved avenues...not exactly smooth sailing.

Race miles 2-5ish-The course ran along the MCT Trail system. It was shaded and not too crowded. The runners and other trail users were very considerate. I ran with a pack for most of the race, trying to pick people off as we went. I knew I was holding back, but I wasn't stressing about it. I was just enjoying being out there again with my runnin' peeps. At one point, a water stop sponsor had people shooting water at the runners with water bottles. Normally, I would appreciate that, but I got nailed in the face and I was wearing my glasses. Since no one has invented lense-shield wipers for glasses yet, it was a little tricky trying to run without banging into my fellow runners and try to wipe them off so I could see.

Race miles 5ish-6.2-We were back on the city streets. I tried to pass a woman that looked super buff that I had been playing sling shot with the whole race, but I couldn't catch her. I finished in about 56 minutes and change...subtracting time for the trip from the gun to the starting line...I forgot to look at my watch. I had that old familiar "Dang, I know I have so much left in me!" feeling after the finish, but I'm not going to beat myself up too much over it. I now have a baseline time for any future 10Ks that I do, so I have lots of room for improvement!

Post Race-My new running friend (Tammy) and I hung out after the race to see if we won any door prizes. She won 1st in our age group and got a nice trophy. The overall winners got a free pair of running shoes too. They had some great door prizes (i.e. massage gift certificates, road i.d. gift certificates, clothes, etc.-that's what you get for having a running store sponsor a race!). Tammy won two 6th row Cardinal's tickets!!! We ended up taking a stroll around the local farmers' market and exchanged contact info. so we could meet up for a morning run sometime. I love being a runner....we are such a friendly, encouraging bunch.

*Oh, yeah...I also got a new air conditioner this week! I am no longer living in a sauna and I can sleep in my own bed again!

four trips to walgreens

2008-06-09T08:32:00.001-05:00

God really has a sense of humor and I'm reaaally glad that laughter is the best medicine. This weekend was truly a comedy of errors.

Saturday late morning: I ran 8 miles in the heat of the day (90+ degrees). No clouds. No breeze. No sunscreen. Dumb idea. It was the neighborhood-wide yard sale Saturday, so everyone had a lot of signs up in yards. I ran past one that just said "Baby Sale #300 Peachtree." Was someone tired of being a parent and just decided to sell their baby? I felt they needed to be a little more specific in their signage...obviously they weren't selling their babies. I decided to loop back around after grabbing my camera to take a picture. It was dead when I tried to turn it on. I looped back around and grabbed my cell phone, but rather and go back to the original sign, I just ran up to their house. Well, you guessed it...it was yard stroller guy. I guess he got sick of walking around his yard in his expensive jogging stroller, and just got rid of the baby AND the stroller. I got caught taking the picture of the silly sign. I just smiled and waved at yard stroller guy and jogged on. Here's the picture.

Saturday afternoon: Since I was a sweaty beast, I decided to just lay on my living room floor, drink a bunch of water, and watch a movie to cool off. Dumb idea. I started to get VERY itchy. I didn't think anything of it...just thought it was the sweat. I mowed my front yard, went to the store, made some food for some friends who just had a baby, dropped the food off, and came home to shower.

Early Saturday evening: Still itchy. I went to Walgreens to find some relief or my raging sunburn. Showered again and used the lotion...still itchy. I went back to Walgreens and picked up some Wali-dryl. Still itchy. Go BACK to Walgreens. The brain trust that is the pharmacist says I have a heat rash and tells me to buy some mild lotion and stay cool. Ok...still itchy. Watched a documentary on the Badwater ultramarathon called "Running on the Sun." Good flick...never seen so many disgusting runner feet in my life.

Sunday morning: Get up and go to church....still itchy. I went out for breakfast with some friends and came home. However, as we opened the door we were greeted with an overpowering smell of burning plastic. We looked like a bunch of morons sniffing around the house, yelling "I think it smells worse in here!" We finally narrowed it down the air conditioner because it was REALLY starting to get warm in the house. After calling one of my firefighter friends (Craig) and his wife (Diana) to come over and make sure that, in fact, my house was not going to burn down, we determined that the problem was that there was about four inches of ice caked on my A-coil in the basement furnace unit. Niiiiice. Now I have no air conditioning. We turned the unit off and used my only fan to try to speed up the melting process so it can get fixed. Meanwhile, it's 95 degrees outside.

Sunday afternoon: So, two of my friends and I went to the mall to cool off and get a wedding gift for my boss. One of the gals, Bri, is studying to be a nurse, took a look at the spots I have been scratching on my arms and legs. She tells me I HAVE POISON IVY!!!! So, I make my third trip to Walgreens to pick up some poison ivy cream and some generic Claritin. Still itchy. If you've never had it, this is what it feels like....You literally want to scratch ALL your skin off until you reach the bone. Just talking/typing about it makes me want to scratch. Good thing I bite my nails...HAH!!!! Take THAT all you people who lecture me about biting my nails. If I had nails, my arms and legs would probably be full of festering, weeping, pussy sores! Here's a visual for you http://www.poison-ivy.org/rash/left-arm.jpg. This is NOT my arm. It's just an example of what would happen if I actually had nails. I didn't post the picture because I didn't want to look at the nasty thing every time I open my blog page...you'll understand if you are a brave soul and take a gander at the site. Then I decided to go ahead and mow my backyard, because, what the heck, I already had poison ivy...right?

Sunday evening: I went to a church meeting...still itchy. Then I went out with some friends...still itchy. I went home to a sauna of a house, put some pj's on, and drove over to a neighbor's house to spend the night...in their nice air conditioned house. Craig called me back because Diana told him I was getting worse. He told me to go the emergency room...it was likely in my blood stream and would get into my eyes and on my face. OH HECK NO!!!! I got in the car and drove to their house because Diana (bless her ever lovin' gigantic heart) offered to sit with me in the emergency room. The PA gave me a steroid injection in the buttocks ("I got shot in the buttocks.").

I asked her if my right butt cheek would get REALLY pissed off at my left butt cheek and start a fight. Would my right cheek get really ripped by tomorrow morning? I don't think she was amused. They prescribed some oral steroids (which required yet another trip to Walgreens) and told me:
a. Don't get hot.*
b. Don't get sweaty.*
b. Stay in air conditioned areas.*
c. Don't exercise.
d. Take three Benadryl a day plus a Claritin.**
e. Take ALL of the steroids as directed or it will come back...and come back with a vengeance.
Now, being the psycho runner that I am, I tried to reason with her, find a loop hole, make a deal. She just said, "You can run and swim. Just know that you will get poison ivy blisters in all the places that you have friction. You can swim, but you will be swimming in chemicals and other people's bacteria with open sores. Buuuuttt, you just do what you want." I like her. She tells it how it is. She doesn't sugar coat it.

This craziness is supposed to last 2 weeks. I am registered to run in the Route 66 10k on Saturday. I'm going to try to do it, if I promise to speed home and jump into a cold shower afterward, I am thinking I'll be okay. I'm NOT letting the last 8 weeks of training go to waste. However, I'm also thinking this is God's way of forcing my hand and making me rest. So, I'm going to try to take the next several days off and stave off the puss-filled and weepy grossness.

*Did I mention that I don't have air conditioning? *!@#! Ironic...
**Benadryl knocks me OUT. Did I mention that I am teaching a school full of middle school and high school alternative education students for the summer? I am going to have an interesting two weeks.

yard stroller

2008-06-05T14:38:00.000-05:00

So, this past weekend I went on my long run on Sunday. My neighborhood has some hefty hills, so I opted to run few loops through a newer route I have mapped out. Also, since living in the STL area in the summer (according to my friend Kristin) is like "living inside someone's mouth," running in the 'hood gives me the option to run with easy and less messy access to agua frio (my fuel belt bottles are leaking).

On my first loop around, I saw one of my neighbors was outside grilling for his friends and family...not an unusual sight on my street in the summer. I smiled and waved (and secretly wished he would offer me a burger).

On my second loop around, the guy is walking his baby girl in the jogging stroller down the driveway. I think, "Aw, how cute. Dad is taking her for stroll."

On my third loop around, Dad is walking the daughter in the jogging stroller in circles around the yard. I think, "Huh....that's odd."

I made another half loop to finish off the run and cool down. The father and child....still walking around the yard. Okay, now I have to stop. So I ask, "Trying to get her used to a new stroller?" Nope....he says, "Just killing time while we wait for dinner to be ready!" I had nothing to say to that...at least out loud. I smiled, nodded, and was on my way, all the while wondering....Why not take the kiddo out of the yard? You have a several hundred dollar jogging stroller and you take her for a walk on your patch of grass? I'd understand if you were alone and were the only one left to tend to dinner, but his house was surrounded by cars. I'm sure someone inside would be able to flip a couple burgers while he took the girl for a spin around the block. Instead, he opted for the more ridiculous option...which reminded me of a story my dad tells often. His mom used to let him take the row boat out on his own when he was a kid....as long as he was attached to a rope to the dock. I'm sure he was mocked by all the local kids...much like I was(in my head) mocking my neighbor as I ran home.

game on!

2008-06-03T19:30:00.000-05:00

You may not follow my logic, but my solution to my fatigue problem has been to beat it at it's own game. Being the stubborn ox that I am I say, "Okay, fatigue....GAME ON!" So, in my battle of wills with my stubborn body, I have tried to beat it into submission. Here was my three point plan....
1. Give up on caffeine. Maybe the artificial chemical energy boost was causing my energy crash.
Result: I only lasted 36 hours....I quickly realized that caffeine withdrawal=ten pound anvil sitting on my head, making me want to poke my eyeballs out with pointy sticks. It was soooooo not worth it.
2. Bombard myself with superfoods. I checked out this book from the library.

It outlines 14 foods that are uber-healthy, cancer fighting, energy providing, well...super foods. I can't help but imagine a banana in a superhero cape when I say that...dah, dah,dah, daaaah! SUPER FOODS!!!!!
Result: It maaay be helping a little. It could be the fact that I have to eat an immense amount of fruit, veggies, and other healthy stuff, which leaves me with less room for sugar. Sugar may be my nemesis.
3. Confuse my body with a new routine. Trick it into ditching the fatigue. I did a turbo kick box class on Saturday. I have been faithfully lifting weights for about a month. I joined a running group that meets three times a week, hoping that running with others will help me to absorb other runners' energy by association. I've been using my elliptical trainer and swimming laps.
Result: Jury is still out on this one. As far as I can tell, the only changes have been...
-I can't lift my arms above my head without lots of popping, creaking, and moaning.
-I've made some new running friends! Yeah for running friends!
-My laundry loads have increased.

I'll keep you posted....so far the game score is:
Fatigue:2
TheBets:1

jive talkin'

2008-05-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

In my quest for injury-free marathon training, I'm forcing myself to do the dreaded strength and cross training recommended by pretty much every running expert. I hate it. I just wanna run. I know, I know, I'm whining. I'll say it to myself and save you from giving the pep talk..."Just suck it up Bets..."

However, today I discovered a way to make it entertaining. Have you ever watched people workout at a gym? I seriously think that they don't realize people are watching them like T.V. I think the makers of "The Office" need to make a spin-off show called "The Gym." They would have an unending supply of characters to parody.

My innocent victim today was a treadmill runner. First of all, the guy was wearing a sweat shirt and old school sweat pants, with the requisite giant, rapidly spreading sweat rings. Normally, that wouldn't send me into a fit of inner giggles, but it was his added "strut" that made me lose it. The guy started walking slowly with a definite "jive-talkin'" esque saunter. The only things missing were a polyester pants suit and a swingin' paint can. I mean, he was REALLY goin' to town to whatever ditty was playing on his mp3 player (I wonder what song he was listening to?). If that wasn't enough, he progressed to a "speed-saunter strut", quickly followed by the "sprint strut." I don't know HOW that guy did it...think John Travolta on crack. It was quite impressive.

*Side note...I tried the strawberry flavored Clif Shot Bloks today. I cut them in three pieces. It was a lot easier to handle in the smaller size. I think I like the strawberry better than the cherry.

creepy twinkle and a Blok party

2008-05-25T16:59:00.000-05:00

Today started out like any other Sunday...wake up, shower, go to church, go out for lunch, etc. I decided to make a dash in the torrential downpour from the restaurant to the running store a few doors down. I had a two part mission. I needed to find an alternative energy source for my long runs and I needed a new stick of Body Glide.

Mission 1: Get Body Glide....completed.

Mission 1.5: I bought two more pairs of running socks...I'm getting tired of washing multiple loads of whites every week just so I can wear clean socks. I have enough socks, just not "good," blood stain-free running socks.

Mission 1.75: I maaaay have walked past the Garmin display, looking longingly at the fine piece of gadgetry. I want one. Alas, I am a poorly paid teacher who is a munchkin. I cannot afford one. I also don't think my wee bitty wrists (I can wrap all of my fingers around my wrist and my Timex only fits on the last hole) can support the beast.

Mission 2: My trusty Vanilla and Chocolate flavored Gu aren't working for me anymore. I have used it for too long maybe? Whenever I take it on a long run, my gag reflex kicks in...the texture, the taste, the smell, just makes me want to hurl. Hurling is not recommended when trying to maintain your energy level. It is also not recommended if I want to have any chance with Hot Runner Guy. So, I asked the trusty running store "experts" for their recommendations.

I had been eyeing the Clif Shot Bloks for a while. I tried to do some research online, but the Clif web site didn't give a lot of technical information about the benefits of the Bloks over any other energy gel. I was looking for cold, hard facts and some real runners' opinions on the stuff.

One of the ladies didn't have anything positive or negative to say about them, except that she doesn't like to chew when she runs...noted. I picked up three flavors-Cherry, Strawberry, and Cran-razz. I took a pass on the Pina Colada flavor...seemed like a weird choice for a mid-run refuel. They also recommended trying a new flavor of Gu. I was skeptical about that advice, considering the texture makes me gag, but I picked up a Lemon Sublime pack to give it a shot. I also picked up two packs of Hammer Gel (Tropical and Raspberry). They said that the texture of the Hammer Gel was more liquid than Gu, so I may not have the same texture issue.

So, I checked out, armed with a new stash of experimental energy supplies. Since I am still struggling with my wipedoutitis, I took a half hour nap before my run.

I woke up to a creepy rendition of "She's Been Comin' Around the Mountain." The creepy twinkling was coming from none other than the friendly neighborhood ice cream truck. Normally, that wouldn't be unusual, however, it was in the middle of a raging thunderstorm. I was lying in bed thinking, "Now, what parent in their right mind (besides Nitmos) would allow their kids to run out into the street TOWARDS a ton of metal machinery during an electrical storm?" So, since I am not the most brilliant runner in the world, I decided to go for a run...but I kept my distance from all metal objects and tried reaaaallly hard not to sing the little ditty as I was "comin' round" the curves in the road.

Before I left, I decided to give the Cherry Clif Bloks a spin. I normally don't use a gel on a 6 mile run, but since I've been struggling with energy lately, I figured it couldn't hurt. There are two servings in a bag. I thought this was great...more bang for your buck. It cost the same as Gu, but I get two runs out of the package. I put the leftovers in a sandwich bag for later. I took one before I headed out the door, and pocketed the other two in the original packaging. The taste was good, the texture was surprisingly soft, I was expecting more gumminess (is this even a word?). I popped Block #2 into my mouth at about mile 2.5 when I looped around to my water bottle. I didn't chew this one, just kinda sucked on it. It felt uncomfortably large in my mouth, so I started chewing on it about a half mile later...she was right, chewing and running are not a good combination. I think next time, I will cut them in half and see if that helps. I took one more around mile 5 and I felt pretty good...no gag reflex...no hurling. I went on for another mile and a half. My energy level was good. My only other comment about it was my mouth felt sticky, but I think I could used to it...better that than hurling.

I'll try the other flavors and the other gels over the next few weeks and give you a gag report. Anyone else have any advice or anecdotes about their gel/Blok experiences?

it's official

2008-05-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

It's official...I'm throwing caution to the wind. I'm taking a great leap out into the unknown. I'm ignoring my doubting inner voice that says "You're not ready. You're going to get hurt again."

I am going to register for the Arizona Rock n' Roll Marathon on January 18, 2009.

Running a full marathon is not "unknown" to me. The "unknown" is how my lingering left calf, ankle, and foot injuries will deal with the training.

So, I've erased the ???? next to the marathon listed on my "future races" list. Now it's a !!!!

Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

2008-05-11T16:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Non-runner Nancy's 10K on the 10th. Thanks Nancy for organizing that! Like Marcy, I wasn't able to do the run on the 10th, but I did it today. So, I figured if Marcy did it a few days early, and I did it a day late, we could split the difference. So here's my race report...

The morning began with the gale force wind/rain storm that woke me up at 7:00 a.m. I dutifully rolled out of bed and geared up. I opened the front door, stepped out in the front porch, and was almost knocked over by a gust of wind. I decided to forgo the morning run and wait until after church, hoping that the weather would turn. No such luck. I decided to take a nap when I got home and wait out the weather.* Two hours later, I geared up again and headed out the door. The rain had stopped, but the knock-your-socks-off-wind was still an issue. I spent the majority of the run battling with the wind, which either wanted to push me into oncoming traffic, or throw me in the ditch on the side of the road. I decided to stick close to home and run one of my usual routes in my neighborhood. However, the storm had created a virtual obstacle course of downed limbs on the streets. It felt very much like this Nike commercial (I was the Native American chica in the forest).

On my third loop around the route, I saw this lady taking pictures of her yard from the street. I thought it was an odd time to take family pictures, even if it is Mother's Day...they must like the wind blown look. However, when I got closer to her yard, I realized she was taking pictures of an enormous tree that had snapped in half and had fallen on a power line...which I had run past twice without noticing. Apparently, I'm not the most observant person lately. You would think I would have taken note of a potentially life-threatening danger...wet roads + rain + enormous tree + downed power line = certain death or at least making my already curly hair more afro-like.

I finished up the 10K in about an hour. I'm pretty sure I ran further than the 6.2. I don't have the distance measured on that particular route yet. I've been running an average 8:30-9:30 minute pace on my normal runs, so I figured if I ran for an hour, I would have the race covered. I considered it a success that I survived the run without electrocution.

*I have been dragging arse lately. I'm NEVER this exhausted. When I run, my legs feel like lead. I RARELY take naps. I could have slept through until tomorrow morning, but I didn't let myself. Any advice on what this could be? I haven't had a change in diet or sleep schedule, and I have been hydrating like normal (and no, I'm not preggers).

confession

2008-04-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. I mock other runners. I am so, so, sorry, but I just can't resist sometimes. There are a lot of silly runners out there. Now, I am not immune to silliness of my own, so feel free to mock me if you see me out running too. In this particular instance, I am admitting to mocking runners with silly running form. My obsession with silly runners reminds me of a Monty Python skit called the Silly Olympiad that features....silly runners.

Today's blog is a critique of runners with silly arms. This obsession started when I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Chicagoland this summer. I went for a 16 miler on a popular trail that runs through the western suburbs...I had a lot of time to mock the silliness. Fleet Feet was apparently sponsoring some kind of training run that day, so there were A LOT of runners out that morning. Here is what I saw...and proceeded to mock.

1. The Rocky Runner....runs with arms in an upward jabbing motion. I was worried if they tripped, they would lose a tooth or two or give themselves a black eye.

2. The Cleavage Maker....runs with arms tight up to boobies, no arm movements...just squeezin' the girls.

3. The Windmiller....runs with arms in a wide circular motion...think 3 year old kid. BIG waste of energy, especially in the middle of summer in Chicago. However, amusing to watch as long as you give them a wide clearance to avoid getting caught in their windmill action.

4. The Dumb and Dumber....nuff said.

5. The Clencher....runners that clench and release their fists. Do they have finger cramps? Are they saying hi? What are they thinking about? Milking Cows?

I have more, but I'll spare you....I betcha can't resist the MOCK-ING! temptation next time you see a pack of silly runners...just don't PICK 'EM UP!!!!
(see above D and D reference for those of you who are not into quality cinematic masterpieces)

sweaty keys

2008-04-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

I'm famous for getting locked out of places...

mostly just my car and my house. I distribute my spare keys around to my friends and neighbors so my poor dogs don't get left without food, water, and potty breaks on a regular basis. After all, who wouldn't want to help a face like this....that's Buster, by the way.

So, here is one of my most famous key stories, and since it relates to running, I am posting it on my blog.

I moved to the STL area about four years ago from the Denver area. There is a very popular park named Washington Park (locals call it Wash Park...not Warsh Park, as people who live in southern IL would call it) that is frequented by runners. They actually have a great 5k run there called the Furry Scurry...you have to be a dog lover to appreciate it.

One lovely Memorial Day weekend, my roomie at the time (and one of my best buds) decided to go for a run in the park. We made pancakes before we went and decided to bring the leftovers to feed the ducks (Coffee Betsy, I thought of you and Jack's goose episode when I wrote this).

When we arrived at Wash Park, we left the pancakes on the dash of the car, locked the car, and went on our merry way. A couple of laps around the park later, I took the key out of my shorts' key pocket, retrieved the pancakes, and relocked the car. Now, in between the ducks and the car was a VERY large, grassy field, littered with picnicking couples and napping weekenders. We cooled down, walking across the field, and feed the duckies. When we arrived back at the car...tada!!!!....no key. Crap. Crap. Crappity. Crap. Crap. Crap. Now, Kir always had a theory that if she just counted to ten, I would find my keys. Her theory usually works, but not this time. So, we proceeded to retrace our steps across the field, sifting through lots, and lots of grass....looking, well, like total morons. No key. No key at the duck pond. Crap.

So, we approached a non-psycho looking picnic person and asked to borrow their cell phone. She agreed. I also had to ask her if she happened to have the number for AAA. She did. Denverites can be a friendly and useful bunch. So, a few phone calls and several hours of waiting in the field, I paid out the arse for a locksmith to come on a holiday and break into my car...so I could get at my spare key...which of course was conveniently INSIDE the car.

On the way home, we stopped at Safeway. Sitting in the grassy field for several hours made me into a swollen-eyed sneezy mess....had to get allergy relief. We both had to pee too. Once in the bathroom, I pulled down my shorts and tada!!!!!! Wouldn't you know it?! I heard the tell tale klink-klink of my key falling to the floor.....it was stuck to my sweaty stomach.....and not in my key pocket. Niiiiicccce. I walked out of the bathroom and said, "Guess what I found?!"

It's a good thing Kir loves me, because otherwise I wouldn't be alive right now. I maaaay have ended up at the bottom of the duck pond.

Wild, Wild, West

2008-04-21T21:14:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, I went for a 12 mile run in one of my favorite places in the city...Forest Park. It's a very large and busy park that is perfect for people watching, so it's a great place for longer runs. I was prayin' on my run, as I often do, because it is one of the only times I can block out all the noise and focus. Unfortunately, my focus was broken by a few laps past this location....the horse stable for the Forest Park Division-St. Louis Mounted Police. Every time I ran past it, I went into a several mile fit of giggles. Now, outside of the obvious off color jokes that were going through my head (Hi, I'm 12.), I contemplated this quandary....What, pray tell, are the purpose of mounted police officers? It's not like we are going to witness a stand off in the OK Corral in the middle of the park. There is no need to chase down any wayward cattle who decide to wander onto Art Hill to graze. The closest things we have to the wild, wild west in the park are the wild animals in the zoo or the western historical exhibits in the history museum. Really, do they expect to have to chase after a runaway stagecoach or a masked madman who just robbed the local bank on horseback?

occupational hazard

2008-04-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

I am a teacher. Normally that isn't a profession that strikes fear into the hearts of many. Unless, of course, you hate kids.

Now, being a teacher isn't all that unusual. There are lots of people out there having sex...makin' babies....and guaranteeing that thousands of us out there have permanent job security. Thanks, to all of you procreatin' peeps out there...I appreciate the paycheck.

What's unusual about my job is that I am a Special Education teacher....in an alternative school for kids with severe behavior and mental health issues....in the hood. They enroll in my school for various reasons (ie. weapons violations, fighting, truancy, repeated behavior referrals, identified mental illness, returning from "big boy jail", etc.). I have the best job in the world. It's never a dull day. I have big highs, and just as big lows on a day to day, week to week basis. My students have a lot of....personality. They are hilarious. I love them. I can't imagine doing anything else.

That being said, it also isn't the safest job on the planet. I often get threatened, called interesting names, witness various forms of violence, and hear stories that would make your toes curl.

This is one of the big reasons why I run...it keeps me sane. My students think it's pretty cool that I run long distances. I get a lot of good natured teasing. The ones that make me laugh are the kids who say "I could run a marathon G. Pick me up next time and I'll run with ya. I bet I beat you." And, in the next breath, they ask me to pick up the pencil that they dropped on the floor....in front of them.

Other than for the obvious reasons, I am beginning to think I'm not normal. Sometimes (when I'm really desperate), I will go for runs after work in town. I tell coworkers that I'm leaving, and if I don't come back within a certain time period, send help. On the rare occasion that I force myself to do track work, the security guard watches me run on the cameras aimed at the track. Sometimes I will run on a trail system just outside of town (usually before after-school meetings). The first time I ventured out on the trails, I got out of my car and said out loud, "Well, this is a really dumb idea." Of course, I didn't get back in the car. I thought (to myself this time), "I'll just run real fast and get it over with before it gets dark." Ya Bets, THAT makes it better. I ran by some signs with bullet holes in them and picked up the pace a wee bit....one of the best interval days I had...ever.

So here's where the occupational hazard idea sinks in....About a month ago, I was out for a long endurance run in the town where I live. It was a Saturday morning. It was quiet, peaceful, and light on traffic. I had my ipod on and I was in a happy runnin' zone. Unbeknownst to me, a car was in trouble behind me. One of the tires on the car had a blow out....a very loud, gunshotlike blow out. So, instead of losing all bladder control, all heart function, and curling up on the sidewalk in the fetal position, I flinched. Yes, I flinched. I turned around and gave the car my best "teacher look" (known to stop grown men in their tracks), turned back around, and went on my merry way.

Now I feel a little silly letting Chicken Lady get the best of me.....

stupid, stupid fear

2008-04-09T17:29:00.000-05:00

"In the achievement of greater performances, of beating formidable rivals, the athlete defeats fear and conquers himself."

-Franz Stampfl

I just gotta come right out with it-it's like ripping off a band-aid.

I'm disappointed. I didn't make a PR on Sunday. I was about 2 minutes off. I'm really disappointed in myself. Now, I can come up with the following "excuses:"

Since March 2007, I've competed in 3 half marathons and two full marathons...I'm just plain tired.
I've been injured...tendonitis in my ankle, bone spur on my heel, morton's neuroma in my foot, and a calf muscle that is so tight, that a specialist wants to cut me open and slice through the connective tissue to lengthen it.....I was in pain.
It was a very hilly course....That slowed me down.

All of those "excuses" are a bunch of malarkey. Here's the REAL reason I didn't make a PR: good ol' fashioned fear. I have done interval training and speed drills....I know what to do. I held back. I was afraid of tanking at the end and crawling across the finish line. I thought I was "pacing" myself. I KNOW I could have ran at a faster pace the whole race. I actually sprinted the last 2 miles of the race and had energy to spare. Stupid, stupid, stupid fear. I thought the sprint saved me at the end and would put me over the top, but it didn't.

Like Mr. Stampfl says.... I need to defeat fear and conquer myself...I was my own worst speed enemy on Sunday.

Lewis and Clark Half Marathon, September 14th:

Fear and I will have a show down....I shall kick fear's ass...even if I have to crawl across the finish line.

Now, on a happier note, I had an AMAZING time at the race. Twelve of my friends, in three teams of four, ran the marathon relay....many of them weren't runners months ago. I've never been a spectator at a race. I LOVED IT!!! You definitely see some amazing acts of humanity on the race course, but to be able to watch from the sidelines, you get to see so much more! While I waited for my friends to finish, I watched parents cross the finish line with their kids holding their hands. I saw two team members of one relay team run across the line, one on the other's shoulders. I saw relay teams run, hand-in-hand, across the line and end in a big group hug. I heard the announcer read names of people in their 70s as they crossed the finish line (they are my heroes). I watched as people ran across that line, arms spread wide, faces up, tears streaming down their faces (and mine).

I'm so proud to be a part of the running community....we are one amazing group of people.

warning: this post is not for the faint of heart...or the weak of stomach

2008-04-04T19:42:00.000-05:00

So, frayedlaces tagged me and told me to do this...so if you find this post disgusting, and/or if I tagged you, feel free to blame her (tee hee). So here are the rules:

(1) Write your own six word memoir.

(2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want (see my yuckiness above).

(3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogs-universe.

(4) Tag at least five more blogs with links.

(5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

I was contemplating my memoir all afternoon. My life is so varied, what to choose, what to choose. I went to pick up my race packet for the Go! St. Louis Marathon weekend tonight (I'm doing the Half this year) and saw a vendor selling a t-shirt that had a slogan that pretty much summed up my running life as of late. Well, since I have mostly blogged about running and/or my misadventures while running, the t-shirt inspired the idea to do a memoir about...running. I know, I know, my last post was all about how my life is NOT all about running. Well, it's still not. Consider this my six word Running Memoir. If you want a memoir about every part of my life then, well, you may want to back off...stalker.

The Bets's Six Word Memoir....

I think toenails are for sissies.

So, Kate, Liz (Kate's Mom), Kris (fellow teach' in the 'hood...and Kate's best bud), Ruralrunner (random fellow blogger/teacher I met on runner's lounge), and Fatrunnergirl (jus' cus I like her blog, and us fat kids gotta stick together!) consider yourself tagged.

thank you, captain obvious

2008-04-03T19:30:00.000-05:00

I live in a small town on the other side of the river (that would be the Mississippi...the river) from St. Louis. It's kinda of a weird limbo land between suburb and small town. We are a little jaunt away from the city, but it still is an area where you pretty much can't go anywhere in town without running into a familiar face. It's a great town...I'm a fan. Our claim to fame....a giant ketchup bottle.

So, as you can imagine, all those familiar faces see me running...often. I can't go a week without someone saying, "Hey, I saw you running yesterday," or "Was that you I saw the other day on .....street? Wow, that was really far away from your house! You're crazy!" Sometimes people honk and wave, which I appreciate...kinda feels like having my own personal race spectators day in and day out. If it didn't make me look like a huge dork (which I am, but I don't like to advertise), I would wear one of my marathon race bibs with my name on it so they could go one step further and yell, "Go Betsy! You are the Bets!" or "Hey, check Betsy out! What a huge running dork!" I'm sure I may be getting some inapppropriate honking also (the "Hey baby, you runnin' my way?" variety), but I'm usually listening to my ipod, so I can't tell the difference.

The comments that tend to bug me come from people who stop you to tell you stuff. Here are a few examples, feel free to comment if you think I'm being too harsh.

1. I was doing some speed work in my neighborhood. One of the mini-van mavens pulled up beside me and rolled down her window. Not wanting to be rude, I stop and jog in place to see what she wanted...maybe she lost her dog. Nope, she simply stopped me to tell me that she has noticed me running over the past few years and that she admired my dedication. Thanks, great. Tell me that when I'm walking my dogs. Tell me that when you see me at the store. Don't stop me in the middle of an all out sprint.

2. I go to Walgreens, the grocery store, post office, etc. Townie stops me and says with a chuckle, "Hey, Betsy did you run here?" "Why aren't you running?" "Wow, look at you! You are dressed in normal clothes! I didn't know you wore anything besides running gear!" "If I forget something on my list, I'll call ya and you can just run back up here for me, right?" I usually just laugh and say "Ha, ha...good one!" However, this is my internal response when I'm feeling extra snarky....

I have a life outside of running. I eventually stop and interact with people. I'm not a hamster. Running is not the only thing I do.

I have a job. I'm not a fast runner and no one is knocking down my door to offer me big money endorsements to run around town. So, yes, I do own "normal" clothes and shower on a very regular basis, thank you.

No, I will not "run" your errands. I would likely knock myself out with your milk jug and break all of your eggs. I will not pick up your feminine products or hemorrhoid cream and run down the street...I would most definitely ruin my chances with Hot Runner Guy.

3. A few weeks ago, some old lady and her husband (not Chicken Lady) were stopped at a light at a busy intersection in our downtown area. She rolled down her window and finger waved at me to come over to her car. Seriously?! You want me to run into the middle of the intersection and risk getting flattened? Ah....no. I like all my appendages right where they're at, thank you.

4. Mile 23 of my last marathon...I'm nearing the beer stop. My legs are shredded. I am feeling EVERY step. I know that if I stop, I'm never going to start again. The beer stop has some very chipper spectators, which I appreciated. One of the spectators saw me, ran across the race field and waved me down, yelling "Stop!" Ah....no Silly Lady, I'm not gonna do it and you can't make me (I think I may have actually said that out loud). So, Silly Lady jogged along next to me and said, "Oh honey, I just had to stop you to tell you that my name is Betsy too! You don't often meet another Betsy!" You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. Obviously Silly Lady has never run a marathon.

the incredible hulk emerges

2008-03-31T19:12:00.000-05:00

Today's entry is a whinefest of randomness. Feel free to join the whinefest....bring some cheese please. Here's how the day went:

1. Woke up and went for a 3 mile run in the neighborhood. It was quite warm out, so I put on some running shorts for the second time this spring. I feel like the Incredible Hulk, only I'm white, not green. My legs are now exposed after a long winter of running with cozy running pants. I almost blinded myself with my whiteness and ran in front of a passing car. Luckily my Boston cross trainer had prepared me for the moment and I was able to duck and dodge. Back to my hulkiness....I have HUGE legs. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, I'm just making an observation about my very masculine calf muscles. I know everything seems magnified on our own bodies, and at least I'm healthy and fit...yadayadayada. Sometimes I long for that typical "runner's body," but I may have resign myself to donning some shredded purple shorts and spray painting my body green.

2. Shower and get ready for work. Drop my face powder brush in the toilet (If you are reading this Marcy, I thought of you!).....juuuust perfect.

3. Pack up all my stuff. Make breakfast and bring in the dogs. Now I'm running late. Pour coffee. Realize that I forgot to pour out the coffee from last night, and brewed new coffee into the pot....yuck. I'm desperate for caffeine...drink the sludge anyway.

4. Get to work. One of our old students came in for a visit. She has moved back to town and wants to come back to our school. She tells me that she almost got shot over the weekend....and proceeds to tell me the details.....grrreat.

5. Students come back from P.E. One of them has jammed his finger playing basketball and it's swelling up like a balloon.....and yup, you guessed it....it's his middle finger. He is now cradling said finger and showing others his "wound."

6. Lunchtime....chat with co-worker about who is "with child" and who is "without child" since the break......ugh.

7. Switch classes.....get called an "angel" and then get sexually harassed for about an hour.

8. Work day ends....drive home in a raging thunderstorm. Can't get garage door opener to work. Get out of car in the rain. Bring in garbage cans and mail in the rain. Let the dogs out in the rain.

Waaaa...okay now I'm done. I feel better now. Now I have a hankering for some cheese.

tether dog and cross training...boston style

2008-03-27T17:44:00.001-05:00

My Wednesday run this week was by far one of the strangest. It makes the top 5 list for sure. Like many of my running stories, this one involves dogs.

One of the dogs, who I call Tether Dog, lives on one of my regular routes. I will often see Tether Dog and his elderly owner chillin' on their front porch. Usually, Tether Dog is peacefully perched on his owner's lap, just watching me run by. Tether Dog's dad is friendly...he waves every time he sees me. On this particular day, Tether dog was out on his own, chained up to a metal stake in his front yard. Tether Dog was NOT peaceful...he was out for a midmornin' rumble. Tether Dog is a little rat terrier thing...with a very yippy bark. He saw me coming and started running in very fast, wide, arcing, yippy circles. The chain system wasn't really working for him because it made him yank around violently juuuust out of reach of my path...giving him the very effect of being a canine tether ball...hence the name. Ahhh....good times, good times....

Now, if Tether Dog wasn't enough, I had another doggie run in when I looped around my neighborhood around mile 7. I see this Boston Terrier running across the street towards me...and it's apparent owner running about a half a block behind. Not wanting the dog to become road kill, I joined in the chase. Now, I am not one for cross-training (even though every doctor I've ever had look at my leg, foot, and ankle injuries has advised it), but this little guy gave me a workout. I was jumping over hedges, dodging cars, spinning around trees, side stepping mud puddles, and squatting under bushes, trying to rescue the little bugger. When I finally cornered him in a yard on my block, the lady caught up with us. I yelled to her that we were in a back yard. She breathlessly approached us, calling the dog's name. She stopped abruptly and said, "Well, that's not my dog!" Oh' for Pete's sake....the dog wouldn't come to her either, and ran off down the street. I told her that it didn't have tags. We both agreed that he would likely find his way back home somewhere in the neighborhood. I told her I had one more mile to go, so if I saw him again, I would try to catch him and see if I could find his owner.

I never saw my cross trainer again. Maybe he can meet me for my Saturday run...say around 9:00?!

bernie from the block celebrity mug shot

2008-03-27T17:35:00.000-05:00

I had an encounter with Bernie from the Block yesterday on my run....here's his celebrity mug shot. Be gentle...he's a little embarrassed about his sissy new hairdo.

funny made up words

2008-03-24T13:20:00.000-05:00

I was out recently with Kate (the mighty kate) and our good friend Kaity (yes, I have another one). We were talking about society's expectations of female beauty. We are totally guilty of contributing to the vicious cycle by watching movies and T.V. shows, and reading the magazines that perpetuate this cycle. We are, by all means, not perfect.

Kaity made up a new word...Shastards. Shastards=shallow bastards. Definition? Men whose idea of beauty is the air brushed glossy magazine variety....big boobs, tiny waist, fashionistas in heels. Ugh. Impossible to achieve no matter how many miles you run.

I try to take God's word for it on this (sometimes unsuccessfully)..."charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting" (Proverbs 31: 30). Men...I hate to break it to you...the bigger the boobs, the longer they get with age. High heels are painful and make us cranky...and damage our bodies. High fashion? You could probably feed a third world country with the amount of money those clothes actually cost. Beauty does fade, and in the end, wouldn't you rather be with someone whose character you respect and admire, someone who makes you laugh, and someone who is pleasant to be around because they wear shoes that actually fit?

If you would rather have society's picture of perfection, then we think you are a shastard.

secret agent man

2008-03-22T12:45:00.000-05:00

So there is this group of little kids that live in my neighborhood. Most of them are boys. I usually see them in a massive pack hanging out together outside each others' houses. They probably range in age from 8-10, so they are at the age where they are too cool to talk to adults, but still want to impress them.

One of their dad's has built them a ramp for jumping their bikes and skateboards. Whenever I run by them, they time it so one of them is doing some trick on the ramp just as I run by...so I can cheer for them and say the appropriate impressive comments like, "Wow!" or "AMAZING!" They jump off the ramp and strut around like they just landed a perfect 10 at the Olympics.

So, the other day I was running on a particularly warm springish afternoon. Two of the boys were playing. As I got closer to them, I saw that they had giant water guns...fully loaded. They had their heads together, obviously planning something mischievous. Next, I saw one of them sprint ahead, cross someone's yard, and hide behind a tree. The other followed, in pursuit. Up ahead, I saw their target.....one of their little sisters...on a frilly purple bike...with a basket....poor girl. She was about a half a block ahead of the little punks. As I watched the pursuit unfold, I heard one of the boys singing a little ditty as he darted from tree to tree. He was singing "Secret Agent Man." I had to try REALLY hard not to burst into a fit of uncontrolled laughter, but I showed iron-clad self control and did not blow their obviously well planned, impenetrable "cover."

As I passed them and inevitably crossed paths with their intended target, I contemplated warning her. Being a little sister myself, and having been the target of many secret agent attacks, I felt I bit of kinship with the poor girl. Alas, I minded my own business, and let the events unfold behind me as planned....I felt a little guilty, but those boys are my neighborhood posse....I didn't want to become the object of their next "secret" water gun-laden mission....at least not till it gets warmer outside.

almost but not quite

2008-03-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

I just got back from my endurance run for the week. These are a few things I learned/encountered/pondered.

1. Got up, drank two BIG cups of coffee (will I ever learn?), filled up my fuel belt, stretched, and headed out the door.

2. Bernie from the Block is no where to be seen. I saw him on my Wednesday run and noticed that he got a new haircut. I think he is in hiding out of embarrassment....he looks pretty sissy (or at least more sissy than usual). If I can catch him later when I take my dogs for a walk, I will post a picture....celebrity mug shot style.

3. Mile 2....Hot Runner Guy sighting!!!! So, Kate, you can start plotting/recording. Saturday, 10:30 a.m., Vandalia/Rte.159. Our prayers need to be more specific. He was, in fact, running towards me. However, he was on the wrong side of the street. If he followed the "rules" (see hot runner guy) he would instantly lose his status as hot runner guy. He would switch to Reckless Stupid Dead Runner Guy because he would have to run into traffic to do his 180 degree turn to talk to me. I am happy to report to Katie that he was running with a Hot Runner Friend, but you were not running with me...which will not do...according to the aforementioned prayer.

4. My fuel belt bottles are pieces of crap. I have replaced some of them before for the same reason. I have one that has sprung a leak. The leak is on the side of the bottle...just a tiny hole in the seam, so if you squeeze it, a bitty stream of liquid shoots out. In my infinite wisdom, I don't check which one it is before I load them up and make my way out the door. So, either I look like I wet my pants if the offending bottle is in the back, or (as the case was today) look like I sprouted an extra sweat gland between my 2nd and 3rd ribs. Thankfully, I was far enough away from Hot Runner Guy to have him notice the interesting "sweat pattern" that I was sporting on today's run.

5. Mile 2.5-Hot Runner Guy and Hot Runner Friend do actually turn around and are now running with me....but on the other side of the street....and they run faster than Hot Runner Girl....now it looks like I'm chasing them...which I'm not...I can't help it that they turned around!!!

6. Mile 3-Mob of tweenies taking up the entire sidewalk are walking towards me. I'm trying to figure out their interesting attire. They are wearing knee-high socks....on only one leg...and they are striped. Now, when I was in junior high, we wore some interesting fashions (i.e. tight rolled jeans, hyper color t-shirts, jelly shoes) that were questionable, so I am not one to talk. Seriously though, which brain trust among them decided it would be cool to wear one striped sock pulled up over their knee cap? Those ladies are going to have some interesting tan lines come summer. Tweenies do not hold their ground like Chicken Lady and I parted the mob like the Red Sea and go on my way, shaking my head in disbelief.

7. Mile 4- Cup 2 of the coffee is talkin' back. Gotta go...NOW. Stop at Moto Mart. There is a line. I'm doing the pee-pee dance. After the ladies in front of me take their own sweet time chit-chatting with the attendant, I ask her if I can use the facilities. OUT OF ORDER!!! Now, you would think that the attendant would recognize the international sign of immediate need of a toitee, a.k.a. the pee-pee dance, and tell me that BEFORE I waited in the line, but she wasn't the most observant person alive. The Chatty Cathy's in front of me advised me to risk life and limb and run across Saturday morning 159 traffic and go to Shop n' Save. I politely thanked them for their unsolicited advice and ran to Sonic at mile 5.

8. Mile 8...finish. Decide to take Ross and Buster for a walk. Pray that Hot Runner Guy and Hot Runner Friend listen to the Spirit next Saturday and run on my side of the street.

GPS...and not the technology kind

2008-03-10T19:00:00.000-05:00

Two summers ago, I went to friend's place in the Ozarks. I decided to take advantage of my new surroundings and go for a run...I like going to new places and exploring them through running.

My friend and her family instructed me on the best route to go where I would run into the least amount of traffic. Now, as many of you don't know, I am HORRIBLE with remembering verbal directions and have absolutely NO internal compass (foreshadowing here...if I could make the sinister DA-DA-DUM noise you hear in horror movies right now I would).

So, I head out on my merry way. I'm enjoying my surroundings, appreciating the beauty of nature. About 2 miles into my run, I came upon a house with a dog sittin' out front. He wasn't chained up, so he just popped right up when he saw me and decided to trot along side me as I ran. Being a dog owner myself, I was concerned that the dog would get lost and I tried to encourage him to go home.....he wasn't having anything to do with that business. He was determined to keep me company. When I turned left, he turned left. When I sped up, he sped up. I had found myself a vacation running partner.

Several lefts and rights later, I had NO idea where I was and (of course) all the street names sounded similar. It was getting hotter and hotter out and I already had ran about 5 miles. I was getting concerned that I was going to pass out on the side of the road without water if I didn't figure out how to get back to my friends' place. My runnin' bud just looked up at me with a happy grin. I looked back at him and thought, "He's a dog. I bet he has that internal compass that knows exactly where his house is...I know how to get back to my friends from his house. I'll follow the dog!" So, I let GPS (my nickname for him) lead the way. Three miles later, wouldn't you know it, we were right back where we started....at his house. When we reached his yard, he just trotted on over to his lounging spot in the shade and plopped himself down....and grinned at me as if to say, "I got your back."

hot runner guy

2008-03-04T06:53:00.000-06:00

There is a guy who runs a lot in Cville. Kate discovered him....and named him. We call him Hot Runner Guy. He first appeared in the summer of 2007 (as far as I know). Kate had the idea that every time we see him, that we pray for his wife.....which is, in fact, me (at least in my head).

One time, Katie and I were driving on Beltline and saw Hot Runner Guy. I was in mid-conversation and just shouted "HOT RUNNER GUY!!!" I frantically texted Kate that there was an official Hot Runner Guy sighting. And so, the tradition begins....we broadcast Hot Runner Guy run-ins (literally) whenever they occur. His wife is prayed for often.

He is quite the dedicated runner. I have yet to "run" into him on my local running routes. You would think that we would eventually cross paths considering the sheer amount of miles we both put in around town. Sigh, alas I have yet to have an official in-person run-in with Hot Runner Guy. Of course, when I do, he will become instantly drawn to me and will do a 180 degree turn and decide to run with me. I will discover that he is a Godly man who is 30-something, funny, single, employed, and is looking for a short, chubby, cute and endearing, slightly quirky, Godly woman (that he has seen on occasion and secretly calls "Hot Runner Girl"). I, of course, will look FABULOUS and not sweaty or gross at all.

And Hot Runner Guy and Hot Runner Girl (me) lived happily ever after......

playing chicken

2008-03-03T13:18:00.001-06:00

So sometimes when I run my regular route from my house through Main Street in Cville I see this old woman. I think she is pushing about 70. I admire her cause she's out there walkin' and exercising...she looks pretty fit. This is where my admiration stops. I think she is playing chicken with me.

The sidewalks on Vandalia are very narrow and the traffic is very heavy on the street. I do the polite thing and run to one side of the sidewalk. Chicken Lady walks right down the middle of the sidewalk, causing me to run into the grass (or street) to avoid her. So, Monday I decided to see what would happen if I ran straight at her-NOT risking life and limb trying to avoid her-to see what she would do. About a half a block prior to our meeting, I made eye contact. She sized up me, I sized up her. I heard this unspoken exchange between us-"I think I can take her....punk." So, I barrel toward her head on. I got about 3 feet from her and realized Chicken Lady wasn't gonna budge. Rather than body check her into oncoming traffic, I punked out. I made an abrupt maneuver to avoid contact and had a very muddy and wet shoe to show for it.

Darn you Chicken Lady......we shall meet again.

winter

2008-03-02T16:10:00.000-06:00

Here is a rant from one of my winter runs his season.

I'm going to rant...again. This time it is about my attitude, and not celebrity runners.
Here is how my run went...

1. Drive home from work...fast...hoping that I can get home, change, and get in a short run before the weather hits.

2. Change...put on two pairs of pants, and three shirts.... and head out the door, get blasted with cold air, see it is snowing already...think- "Dang-it....grrrr....winter."

3. Mile one-muscles start to loosen up, people turn their outside xmas lights on, big, fat snowflakes falling...think-"Sigh, this is so peaceful, I love running in the snow"....sense of peace and serenity takes over, even do a little running happy dance between the snowflakes, wave at neighbors as they drive by...smile and greet the dog walkers.....Ahhhh.....I love winter.

4. Mile two-Wind picks up, glasses fog up...have to take them off and start to run blind....no more happy dance....just look down and forge ahead. Think-"This isn't so fun anymore...run faster, get this dang thing over with."

5. Mile three-Sleet hits, road gets slippery, can't see a dang thing, wind picks up again which drives needles of sleet and snow into my face, outer shirt is COVERED in ice and snow...look like the abominable snowman....run down steep hill, pray..."Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall"....run home at the last stretch thinking "I HATE WINTER #$%&!@#$#@!"

6. At home....peel off layers of soggy clothing, hang to dry. Curl up on couch and crawl under a blanket. Two hours later, think-"That was fun...I feel good.....I love running...I can't wait to do it again tomorrow!

pee pee dance

2008-03-02T15:39:00.000-06:00

This is a just a friendly reminder I sent to some of my runnin' friends to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I have definitely slacked off in this area lately....I think I might shrivel up and turn into a raisin soon if I don't remedy this situation (that is, if I was a grape).

I decided to take my own advice and actually drink the amount of water the experts rec. and then some because of my added miles. I feel much better now, thank you. Hydration helps with energy, recovery, battling illness, gives you healthier skin, and staying power during your run even if you drank a bunch at the beginning of the day and don't run until the evening...however it is best to hydrate all day. I know it can get annoying if you work at a profession that doesn't allow frequent bathroom breaks, but try your best. My students think that my jumping up and down excitement over the Mayflower Compact means I'm really into American colonization (or that I'm crazy), but really it's just me doing the pee pee dance. So take comfort in the knowledge that you won't be the only one looking like a fool this running season : ). Dance on my friends, dance on......

celebrity marathoners

2008-03-02T15:37:00.000-06:00

Here's my rant about celebrity marathoners...pardon me if anyone is offended by this.

I was on MSN and saw a pic of Katie Holmes running the New York Marathon. Now...why does she look so fabulous while running 26.2 miles, but I end up looking like a sweaty beast in all my pictures? Genetics are just unfair! She's all grinning and beautiful....grrrrrr! I guess having a personal trainer, a stylist, and an unending supply of funds to make you look pretty has a little more to do with it than genetics, but give me my moment...it's my soapbox. At the end of the day it's not about looking pretty (or smelling pretty) when you run, its about doing something good for your mind, body, and soul. So I say screw the genetically near perfect beauty kings and queens out there and just run...because it feels good, not because it looks good.

"I run because it's my passion, and not just a sport. Every time I walk out the door, I know why I'm going where I'm going and I'm already focused on that special place where I find my peace and solitude. Running, to me, is more than just a physical exercise...it's a consistent reward for victory!"
Sasha Azevedo, Runner Athlete

mr. salt truck

2008-03-02T15:31:00.000-06:00

So...I just talked to Kate and she told me to post all my silly running emails from the past few months...so here it goes...

Here's little running story for ya.....ahem.....

So, I go for a 5 mile run on a not-so-lovely winter morning. It was very slippery. I ran down 159 into downtown Cville. I was on the sidewalk. It was very close to the road. I am reciting my "Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall" prayer and concentrating on the ground. Something makes me look up. I see Mr. Salt Truck. He decides to greet me with a big HELLO, HAVE A MOUTH FULL OF SALT AS I SHOOT IT OUT ON YOUR FACE! Good morning to you too Mr. Salt Truck. Mr. Salt Truck has impeccable timing. Mr. Salt Truck continues on his merry way. Mr. MCT Bus immediately follows Mr. Salt Truck. He decides to greet me with a big HELLO, HAVE A NICE LITTLE SALTY ICE WATER SHOWER! Mr. MCT Bus was also so kind as to have a "Happy Holidays" message on his route screen as he graciously gave me my first shower of the day. Thank you Mr. MCT Bus, and "Happy Holidays" to you too!

After I got to work, I also had a visit from Mr. Tow Truck. My car broke down...for the fourth time....in four months. Mr. Tow Truck and I are friends. I think I may invite him to come home with me next time so he can beat up Mr. Salt Truck and Mr. MCT Bus. I wonder what kind of damage his towing hook can do....hmmmmm.....these are the things I will ponder on my next run.

My running advice today is....stay away from Mr. Salt Truck and Mr. MCT Bus....and if you can, Mr. Tow Truck (No offense to Mr. Tow Truck, he is a very nice truck).

betsy and katie get "lost"

2008-03-02T15:26:00.000-06:00

For those of you who know me, the quote of the day will give you a giggle. Even if you don't, I imagine you will find it funny if you have ever gone for a long run and rewarded yourself with food. I get a lot of teasing for my miles....and my injuries....and I love to feed my inner fat kid...I call him Bubba. So, this quote is very fitting.

"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want-Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."Don Kardong

So here's the story of Betsy and Katie getting "lost." Yesterday, Katie text messaged me on my way home from work to tell me that she was going to get her oil changed before we went on a Valentine's Day visit to a local nursing home. We discussed going for a run before we went. So, we dropped off her car at the Vavoline in Collinsville and went for a run while we waited for her oil change. So...we go on our merry way....and decide to get creative. We ran to Kate's house and caught her and Skip on their way out...wished them a happy Valentine's Day.....ran on. We made a random turn on a side street to avoid killing ourselves in traffic....no clue where we were going or where we were going to end up. We get to a sizable hill and wonder if we should turn around and go on the road we knew would take us to our destination. Nope, we decide to trudge up the hill. I run ahead to see where the road ends up and get to the top of the hill to discover a cross road...the street name is Lost. I run back to Katie in a fit of giggles. "WE HAVE TO TAKE THIS ROAD!" Several jokes about being on "lost" and a few random turns later, Lost Ave. intersects with Rainbow St. Now I start singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." There's no place like home, there's no place like home....well, to make a long story short, we found our pot of gold at the end of Rainbow St. and made it out onto Beltline, and back to Vavoline. Moral of the story: Don't get stuck running the same route all the time. Venture out into the unknown. You may get "lost," but it is always an adventure. You will find there is no place like home at the end of the rainbow...and you will be fitter for the effort.

bernie from the block

2008-03-02T15:12:00.000-06:00

You will find that you meet some interesting people and other creatures when you are a runner. I like to give them names (some of them I actually know their real names). Today's creature I have named Bernie from the Block.

Bernie is a dog (his name is actually Bernie). He is an indestructible, evasive maneuvering, wonder that confuses and amuses me. Bernie is my neighbor. He is a black and white anklebitter bitty thing. His owners let him out without supervision or a leash and he roams the block. He lifts his bitty leg on every tree, noses in everyone's front yards, eagerly greets his canine blockmates with butt sniffing abandon, and on occasion, I find him chillin' out in my garage or on my front porch. I open the door to venture out for a morning run....hello Bernie. I run around the hood in the evening...Bernie runs with me down the block. Bernie often gets distracted easily, so he doesn't last long on my runs, but he is entertaining for the the short time he is my companion. I often end my run in front of his house, and he runs out to greet me as if to say "Way to go Betsy! You finished...you are the bets! (Kate that one was for you)" I usually just pat him on the head, give him a high five, and happily head home. Now, if you have spent any time at my house, you know I live on a VERY sharp VERY blind curve in the street. Bernie confuses me...HOW in the world does he not end up a Bernie pancake?! Seriously WHAT is it with this little rat dog that makes him indestructible?! People drive around that curve like they are in the Indy 500, and Bernie still lives. There really needs to be a study on this dog....he has some kind of freakish internal radar that warns him....INCOMING!!!!...and he just steps calmly out of the way. I want that radar.
Anyway...these are some of the things I ponder when I run. Hopefully you have a dog or other friendly woodland creature that keeps you company on your runs/walks. Next time, I'll tell you about the dog that saved my life on a run in the Ozarks (I haven't named him yet)....or Gatorade Guy...or the Porch Posse.....etc., etc., etc.