P.F. Chang's Rock-n-Roll Marathon Race Report: Part 2....finally

Okay, so I let a month and a few weeks go by before I wrote my race report. No one was harassing me to write it, so I figured you people weren't all that anxious to read it anyway. It's been a harrowing hiatus, but I'm glad to be back. Oh, and since I let so much time go by between posts and I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of the details in the haze of recovery, I'm giving you the short version of the race report....in bullets.

Friday...
-Amy and I left STL and flew to Dallas to switch planes. We saw some interesting souvenirs in the airport.
Who knew they made giant Pez and pooping candy dispensers in the form of random farm animals?
-When we arrived at the airport in Phoenix, we had to pick up our rental car. The guy at the rental counter was commenting on how busy they were because of the playoff game, some conferences, and "those crazy marathoners" that were in town that
weekend. I made some crack about being one of those "crazy marathoners" and maybe added an "OH REALLY???" in there somewhere, to which the guy felt bad...and proceeded to upgrade us from a compact to a convertible. I've got skills.
-A few wrong turns and some "recalculating" (from our very annoyed GPS friend) later, we arrived at our destination in Surprise, AZ.

Saturday...
-I awoke to find Skip and Kate in my suitcase! Well, at least the plastic Princess
Barbie and Surfer Ken versions of them, along with a note of encouragement from the Mighty Kate. Apparently my friend Katie teamed up with Amy to figure out a way to bring Team Betsy to me in AZ. They had everyone they could think of send Amy an email to give to me that weekend. It was so great. Amy hid the emails all over where I would find them at random moments throughout the weekend. Team Betsy did a great job. Here are a few samples of some of my favorites (I spared you the touchy-feely emotional ones.):
-"And while I wish you would take a freaking break once in a while, I love that you are so dedicated." (The Mighty Kate)
-"YOU JUST RAN A MARATHON!" (Katie)
-"Now take a break and get some ice cream." (Diana)
-"Run like you are being chased in the hood!" (Age, Bren, Shelby, and Jackson)
-"Just try to stay focused this time...no poopsicles or other crazy ideas." (Dan)
-"I'm trying to find some kickass encouraging words. Insert them here "___________." Man that sounded great." (Patrick)
-Katie to Amy in her directions on how to support me on the race course:
"The wall is a horrible, horrible thing."
"Laugh with her. She's going to walk like a cowboy after a day-long ride...trust me...IT'S HILARIOUS!"

-Next, Amy and I got the brilliant idea of photographing Skip and Kate everywhere we went that day (which I have scattered throughout this report).* Oh, and a Barbie version of Katie magically appeared at the race expo.
-We met up with a friend for a pasta dinner in Scottsdale that night.


Sunday...
-I woke up with a raging sore throat. I tried to ignore it. I was NOT going to DNS.
-After a lot of planning and map reading, we scouted out our race start parking spot and chilled in the car for a while before the race start.
-We headed out for Corral #6 and nervously awaited the race start.
-I had never run in a marathon that large before, so it was pretty dang exciting and slightly intimidating.
-The race started...I gave a head nod to The Penguin and Yasso as I crossed over the
timing pad...and I was OFF!!!
-In the first couple miles I saw my first blind runner and his running guide. It was very inspirational.
-I saw Amy at mile 9(?), holdin' up her Team Betsy sign like a trooper! I never saw
her again after that because it was REALLY hard to maneuver around the race course and find me without thinking that I had already passed her by. Navigating a race course by yourself in a city that is unfamiliar is no easy task. The poor thing tried SO hard to find me!
-The water stops were staffed by some really great, encouraging people. Kudos to the Phoenix volunteers and fans for all your time spent, smiles, and cheers of encouragement. My favorite water stop was the one where everyone was dressed up like a superhero.
-I kept pace with the 4:30 pace group for most of the race. I lost them when I had to stop to use the bathroom. It was then I knew I wasn't going to make my goal time. I was a little bummed, but was having a good time, so I just let it roll off my back.
-Mile 22....Hit the wall for the first time in my running life. I stopped. I stood. I cried. I couldn't move another inch. I tried to muster up every encouraging note that my friends had written, every verse from the Bible about persevering that I had memorized, every inspirational saying I had ever read...but my brain was mush. My throat was on fire. Every inch of my body hurt. I just stood there and told myself, "Betsy, you are NOT quitting. You are going to walk to that mile marker at the top of the ramp. You are going to start running at that marker and no matter how much pain you are in...you ARE going to FINISH this!" I averted my eyes from the medical tent peeps because I was afraid they would look me in the eyes and know...and would make me stop. So, I put my head down, wiped away my tears, and started running. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.

-Mile 25....I walked through the next few water stops after hitting the wall, but when I got to mile 25, I told myself I was not going to walk another step.
-The finish...I ran the rest of the 26.2 and was even able to sprint (well, as much as one can sprint the end of a marathon) the last stretch around Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe. I saw Amy as I approached the finish line, and I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a familiar face in my life. I finished the race in 4:54.49 (official chip time), faster than my last marathon, but slower than my first by four minutes.
-I navigated my way through the finish maze, received my medal, picked up some ice and some recovery snacks, and headed for the family reunion area.
-Amy and I walked what felt like miles to where the car was parked. We had to take a rest break for food at a bagel shop...poor Amy was in such a rush trying to find me that she didn't get to eat anything!
-We headed back to Surprise, but had to stop on our way home for a bathroom pit stop. I got into an interesting conversation with a gas station attendant who didn't believe that I had just ran 26.2. miles (He was wondering why I was walking so strangely.). He kept saying "You? No....you?" I kept saying, "Yes, me!....Me!" I felt like we were in the middle of a rendition of "Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?" Only it went like, "Who just ran 26.2 miles? Who you? Yes, me! Couldn't be! Then who?"
-Amy was a trooper...she had asked Katie how to take care of me after the race. She did great...provided me with big bags of ice, helped me out of bed, yelled at me when I didn't stretch...the basics.
-We headed out that night to get some cold medicine for my sore throat, got some grub at Chipotle, and went to a movie.

Monday...
-We decided to go to the Desert Botanical Gardens to see the Dale Chihuly glass exhibit. I hobbled around like a cowboy.
-We returned the rental car, and flew home via Dallas. I didn't do so well getting in and out of the plane seats, so much so that the flight attendants offered me a wheelchair in STL. They must have thought that I had ordered one, but it was really for an elderly lady that was still on the plane behind me.

Post-Marathon...
-I progressively felt sicker and sicker and ended up leaving work the next morning to go to the doctor. I had strep. The doctor told me that I likely caught it before I left or from someone on the plane going to Phoenix.
-Amy made an amazing video of the weekend! She's so creative! Check it out:

-It took a few weeks to feel normal again, but I'm back and training for the Go! STL Half Marathon and the Kentucky Derby MiniMarathon in April. I promise to catch up with all my blog buddies this week...

*We did not actually go in to Topless Teasers. We were just making a visual commentary about the overabundance of strip clubs on the stretch of road between Surprise and Phoenix. Kate was protecting Skip's eyes.

P.F. Chang's Rock-n-Roll Marathon Race Report: Part 1

Well, as my friend Amy would say....I did a hat trick. I finished my third marathon. I also managed to run it while battling a nasty case of strep throat. I'm pretty wiped out and drugged up at the moment, so I will have to give you all the race report in parts. I pretty much only have the energy to answer my previous post's questions. Oh, and a BIG thanks for all of your comments/encouragement. They were much appreciated. So here it goes...
Will I finish?
yes
Will I hit the wall and not be able to push through it?
Hit the wall for the first time in my running life...at mile 22...I stood there and cried.
Will my legs cramp up?
Once...right calf at mile 5...pushed through.
Will my stomach hate me on race morning?
Yes...nerves.
What if my alarm doesn't go off?
Didn't happen...woke up before the alarm.
What if I eat the wrong thing the night before?
Nope...pasta dinner.
Will I slip and fall on all the trampled water cups?
Nope
What's the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow?
Who cares? Well, besides silly English Caniggits?
What if I miss a spot with the Body Glide?
Yup...had a bloody back...major wincing and whimpering in post-race shower.
What if I miss my flight?
No problems
What if there isn't a Johnny on the Spot there when I REALLY need it?
More appropriate question: What if there isn't any toilet paper in the Johnny on the Spot when I really need it?
Will I be able to do this without Skip and The Mighty Kate?
Didn't have to...full race report to come later.

roller derby treadmill style and other randomness

Alright, I know I've been absent from the blogosphere as of late. I don't have a complicated reason, except that I've just been dang tired. My wipeoutitis has reared its ugly head as I barrel towards the finish of my marathon training (less than three weeks 'til race day!). I promise I will spend some time over my winter break catching up on everyone's blogs. I have a lot of reading to do! I have several race reports to catch up on and several running related stories for you...

1. Great River Road Run (10 miles)
If you are ever in the STL area during Thanksgiving weekend and want a great way to work off some turkey and pumpkin pie, I highly recommend this race. They shut down a 5 mile stretch of the Great River Road in Alton, IL, for an out and back flat course. The race quite literally runs next to the river, and it's really quite beautiful. Wind was the biggest weather issue that day, but otherwise it was a perfect day for a run. I ran a 20 miler on Thanksgiving, so I took it easy and ran much slower than my regular race pace. I met up with Mr. Snarky and some of his much less snarky friends to run. One of his friends was just returning to running after having a baby, so I stuck with her and we chatted it up along the race course. Yay for new running friends! Another added bonus-you are strategically located to partake in a post-race drink/meal at Fast Eddies...and we took advantage of the opportunity.

2. St. Louis Track Club Frost Bite Series
This is the second year I've participated in the series, and I have to say I'm hooked. The race series combines a long (8K, 10 mile, 20K, Half Marathon, and 15K) and short (3K, 2 mile, 5K, 4 mile, and 3 mile) distance race over 5 weekends during the winter months. If you live in the area, it's a great way to stay in shape over the colder running months. If you are a track club member, the race series only costs $30.00, or $6.00 per race. It's only a couple dollars more per race if you aren't a member. You can't beat those prices! I ran the 8K a few weeks ago as part of a 20 mile training run. I ran into a woman I met at the series last winter, and we spent the race catching up on all of our news from the past year. After we finished, we parted ways and I ran the rest of the 20 miles on my own. The 10 mile race was this weekend. It was 60+ degrees, raining, and VERY windy. It was crazy to be running in shorts at the end of December! I had run another 20 miler a few days before, so I took it easy, but it was a great run and a lot of fun despite the rain and brutal wind.

3. Wipeoutitis update
I don't know if my mind and body blocked out the memory of the exhaustion of the previous marathons, but I do NOT remember being this wiped out. I am so tired I feel nauseous most days. I've had to resort to running some days in the evening just to squeeze in another hour of sleep. Case in point...I went to get my hair cut a few weeks ago. I got dressed in my running gear before I went so I wouldn't have an excuse not to go when I was finished. After Laine finished highlighting my hair, I fell asleep in the chair. When I got my hair washed, I found myself dozing off again. As she was cutting my hair, I had to fight to keep my eyes open. We made jokes about me sliding to the floor and having her have to wake me up to flip me over and cut the other side of my head.

4. Roller Derby
The weather in STL has been absolutely insane. We've gone from single digit temperatures, ice storms, with below zero wind chill factors to 65 degrees, sunny, with freak flash floods thrown in the mix. During the single-digit ice storm phase, I was forced to do the unthinkable. Yes, folks...I ran on a treadmill. As my friend Cheri will attest, treadmills make me a VERY grumpy runner. I whine, I complain, and stomp around, I basically turn into a 3 year old in a mega-power struggle. So, I gathered my strength, stuck out my lower lip (what I apparently do when I pout, according to my parents), got in my car, and slid my way to the Y to do two days of 5 mile runs on the *gasp* treadmill. Luckily, my run club buds were also there for emotional support. We lined up and dominated the row of brand new, shiny treadmills (sounds good, but still sucks). I turned and looked at Cheri, growled, and commenced the torture. Now, it's been a while since I've been forced to run on the torture machines, so I didn't realize they've added some fancy bells and whistles. Treadmills now have the feature where you can program your view (i.e. track, 5 K race course through the trails, etc.), where you are a little red line, moving through the virtual terrain. This is just the treadmill makers' way of teasing you: You're not REALLY out here in the open, in the fresh air, with a mountain view. Yup, you're still stuck on a rubberesque strip revolving around and around in a stinky gym, facing a brick wall....just kidding....sucker!!!!
To pass the time, Cheri and I day dreamed about revising the feature. What if you could have a giant flat screen in front of all the machines that tracked everyone's progress on the same virtual course. Each line would have a corresponding number with the treadmill you were using. I decided it would make it A LOT more interesting and motivating if you could virtually knock your competitors into the course lakes and shrubbery....like we were in one massive virtual roller derby!!! Now THAT I could get into! Ah...good times, good times. Alas, they don't make roller derby treadmills and my two-day stint with torture came to an end when I threw caution to the wind and ran in the cold and ice. I just couldn't do it again. Cheri already has wee ones at home who engage her in power struggles...she didn't need me to virtually push her into a shrubbery too.

race report montage

Okey doke...here's the race report update I promised. I know you all have been on the edge of your seats (sarcasm), waiting in anticipation and I've been a tease and just kept you waiting. Well, the wait is over...

Race #1: O'Fallon Fall Finale 15K (er...Super 15K=9.5 miles)
This race locale has tortured me for the last couple of years. I started off with a bang, sizzled and fizzled in the middle, but ended the trio on the right foot. There isn't much to report (a.k.a. remember) about the race. I came, I ran 9.5 miles of hills, I finished. I felt great. I'm terrible at keeping track of my random race distance times, so I don't know if I set a PR or not. I do know that I beat my Sizzler time by 8 minutes and 38 seconds. Yipee!


Race #2: St. Louis Track Club Half Marathon
-This was the second time I ran this course. The first time was my very first half marathon, which I ran in 2:18.10. Granted, that doesn't seem that impressive, but I used it as part of a 20 mile training run in preparation for my first marathon.

-This year I ran it as part of a 14 mile training run. I just did a mile a warm up before the race. I wasn't trying to push myself too hard since I was only using it as my long training run for the week. The race is pretty brutal because it starts on
the hills of Clayton at Shaw Park, runs to and through Forest Park, and loops back through Clayton to finish where we started. I felt really good through the whole race.

-I was VERY excited to see my first joggler! I resisted the urge to point and cheer when I saw him (I've always wanted to see this in person). After all, I didn't want to throw him off his rhythm.

-I experienced a random act of runner kindness. Around mile 11ish, a fellow runner turned to me and offered me one of her Power gummythingys. I didn't want to be rude, so I took one and thanked her happily.

-The race also had an aid station that was staffed by a troop of Girls on the Run. Giving all the wee ones high fives as I ran by and getting to see all those young girls excited about running brought tears to my eyes.

-Last, but not least....When I ran through the finish and looked at my watch, I couldn't believe my eyes. I had made a new PR by 4 minutes and 41 seconds and I ran 6 minutes and 10 seconds faster than my last half marathon!


Race #3: Mountain Home Half Marathon
I was invited by Cheri, the leader of my run club at the Y and a Team in Training coach, to join their merry party of runners to this event. Donna and Jim were former trainees of Cheri's for Team in Training, and Adrianna was a friend of Jim's. Oddly enough, three of the five of us are Special Education teachers (What are the odds?). All of us were unfortunate victims of the Hurricane Ike mishap at the Lewis and Clark Marathon in September. My fellow runners had all signed up to do the full marathon, and I registered for the half.

We set off on our epic running road trip on Friday, in a fully stocked van of running gear, air mattresses, and lots and lots of food. Cheri made three CDs worth of songs in honor of the trip, all with "running," "mountain," or "hill" in the titles. Believe me, that was one random musical journey...where else would you hear John Denver and Ozzy Ozbourne within the same ten minute time period?! Cheri pretty much spent the entire trip scaring the poop out of everyone with how bad the elevation map looked for the race course and how freakin' cold it was supposed to be on Saturday. Once we entered Arkansas, someone bet a dollar to whoever spotted the first washer/dryer on a front porch. I said, "Aw come on guys, we can't be that judgemental! It couldn't possibly be that bad!" Dang it...I was so wrong. Rural Arkansas DOES have a plethera of large appliances as lawn art. We were about ten minutes past the state line, and wouldn't you know it, we saw about 5 stoves and a washer/dryer set. I stand corrected....they were right. About 45 minutes and several mispelled road signs later*, we had arrived at our destination....Mountain Home.


We checked into the hotel, dumped our gear, and headed out to the high school for packet pick up and the pasta dinner. Upon arrival at the high school, we discovered that they are the home of the Mountain Home Bombers. Yes, that's right friends. Their high school mascot is a plane that drops explosives on poor unsuspecting civilians. We should have seen this as a sign.

The pasta dinner and the post race lunch were both provided by the local church ladies (so cute). After we browsed a bit at the single vendor expo, we went to the cafeteria for our pasta and race-course briefing. They made a very heart wrenching presentation about the village in Kenya we were running to support the following day. Next, one of the race directors walked us through a power-point presentation of the course map. This summary included advice and words of encouragement such as, "If you go past the haunted house, you have gone too far," and "We hope you don't get any frost bite in any of ya all digits [pronounced DIIIIIDDDGGGGETS]!" They were very cryptic about the changes they had made to the race course, and almost seemed to take great joy in alluding to the torturous hills that were waiting for us in the morning. They had re-routed the race from last year and kept warning everyone that it wasn't the same course. I was in a state of happy ignorance. Donna went off to talk to one of the organizers about the course. When she returned she reported that, when told that we were going to drive the race course when we left the dinner, the woman had looked her right in the eye with a dead-pan face and said, "It's best not to, dear."

So, we didn't. We made a few stops to pick up some supplies and headed back to the hotel to try to get some sleep. The next morning we awoke to frigid temperatures and a bitter wind. We traveled back to the high school and started the race. I hung back with Adrianna for the first 8 miles until I had to turn around a double back along the half marathon route. Jim was a few paces behind us. We ran along a two lane highway for most of the race, with police cars racing up and down next to us, lights flashing, and the officers yelling at us through megaphones to stay on the other side of the fog line (Who knew the white lines are called fog lines?!). The hills started almost immediately and did not stop. We saw several runners who had quit doubling back (now walking), shaking their heads and muttering, "There's no way!" Eventually, it started to sleet and snow. Adrianna and I were pretty upbeat and were trying to trick ourselves by calling the needle-like sleet "angel kisses" or "cotton balls falling from the sky" and the wind was "invigorating." We had a good time making a game of the torture. We even were able to add to our running total of porch/lawn appliances as we ran. As we approached an aid station** at around mile 7, I had dropped behind Adrianna to avoid being repremanded by the approaching cop for crossing the forbidden fog line. Suddenly, Adrianna started screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping up and down. I noticed a snake on the road, so I jumped into the road, thinking she knew something I didn't about venomous snakes. As we were doing the heebie geebie run, I noticed that the snake was dead. Ya, the race officials got a few giggles out of that one. When Adiranna and I approached my turn around marker, she turned to me and pointed to several female runners ahead of me and said, "Catch those ladies and beat them." We high fived each other and parted ways. I turned around and ran a bit down the road and saw Jim heading up the hill. He greeted me with a loud, smiling "F*@# YOU!" and a single finger salute. He wasn't too happy that I got to turn around. I merrily told him I loved him and gave him a pat on the back...and was on my way.

Remembering my promise to Adrianna, I kicked it into high gear and went on a one woman mission to beat every woman I could see ahead of me on the race course. I was a woman possessed. I knew I had lost a lot of time pacing with the marathoners instead of the half mary's, so I had to push it the last 5 miles. I knew my secret weapon would be to run the upside of the hills while everyone else had given up and had started walking them. I was slightly distracted by the elderly man runner I saw in purple spandex shorts and pink flamingo glasses, who was taking pictures of everyone as we passed. Otherwise, I was a running fool. As I sprinted to the finish, I glanced down at my watch and knew that I hadn't been able to make up enough time to make another PR, but I was pretty dang proud of myself for running such a tough course under less than desireable conditions in 2:15.10.

After I finished, collected my medal, and took advantage of the free massage, I quickly returned to the hotel to shower and change before cheering my friends through to the finish of the full marathon. To kill time while I was waiting, I watched the awards ceremony for the half marathon. As they started to read the age group winners and their times, I realized, "Hey, wait a minute. My time wasn't that far off of their times!" Sure enough, when they got to my age/gender group, they announced my name...I had won second place in my age group! I picked up my commemorative key chain and happily returned to the finish line to wait for my friends.

They came hobbling and cursing across the finish line, which ironically had an ambulance ready and waiting. They all did a fantastic job! Cheri and Donna placed first and second in their age group, and Adrianna placed second in her age group (and set a PR!). In other words, the women of Illinois represented! Medals and commemorative key chains in hand, we checked out of the hotel and I drove the van home. Now, believe me, there is nothing funnier than listening to a van full of marathon runners whine and moan about their sore arses (from running all those hills) and recap EVERY mile of the race. Well, there might be something funnier...watching the same van full of runners try to get out of the van and walk into a gas station to pee after their muscles and joints have all stiffened up over the course of a 5+ hour road trip....sigh....I wish I had that documented on film...good times, good times.

*One such sign was for a restaurant called the Blu Pig. Apparently they think the silent "e" is unecessary since you don't actually say it.
**I'll say one thing for this race, they had AMAZING aid stations-fully stocked with beverages, snacks, gels, and the friendliest, most encouraging volunteers I've ever met!

sometimes it just needs to be said: a race report from mr. snarky

Today's entry comes to you from a guest blogger, James. James is a runner friend of mine who completed the Chicago Marathon last weekend. He sent me his report from the race and I asked him if I could share it with you. I added the pictures because he hasn't given me any. Being a photo journalist, I think he should have done his race report as a photo story instead. Doesn't everyone know that it is incredibly easy to carry an expensive camera with a telephoto lens with you as you run 26.2 miles?!...wimp. So, it's his own dang fault if he objects.

Now, James REALLY likes to give me a hard time, so feel free to slam him for making fun of people who DNSed at the Lewis and Clark Marathon....punk. I also razzed him for his apparent aversion to encouragement along the race course. I have to remember never to give him a pat on the back for fear he miiiight stick his foot somewhere I would really rather not like one of his appendages. So, play nice everyone and welcome our fellow runner to the blogosphere...happy reading!


Ok...it started out rather nice with a fine pasta dinner at the pasta party and lots of sleep, more than I had had in several weeks at one time. We all got up and met in the lobby and noticed it was warmer than we thought it might be. Nevertheless, it was nice out. We even got some pixs with a running group from Japan.....

I led Team Alton in a group prayer and we headed for our starting positions. I had to cut away from everyone because I was up in Corral B. I should have stayed with the group! I found a nice stand of trees just outside my starting area to pee and it seemed I had started something because before long, every tree had someone, male or female, doing their business.

The race started out fine. I crossed the start line...BEEEEEEEEEP, when I noticed I was right next to one of the 3:20 pace groups. "Hey, cool," I said, I’ll just run with them.” Wow, it was warming up by mile 3, and I still hadn't got my wind, so I turned on some music to ease into it. Yes, yes that helped to run with the rhythm. Step, step, breath deep, in, out, in, out........... much better now. Now I’m running in stride with the pacer and he looks over at me to see what our pace is on my Garmin. I gave him hand signals when we need to step up or down, but for the most part we were dead on or under. After some short conversations with "Dave the Pacer,” I find out that he was from St. Louis, and skipped the LC marathon because of the rain. I laughed and said it was a enjoyable run, something to talk about years later....In my mind, I thought ..."Sissy." LOL

By mile 8, I was having trouble keeping a steady pace. I was up and down, falling behind and pushing to catch back up. I got out in front of the pacer a few steps, to make him push me, and it worked. I was back in the groove when I noticed I was going through a lot more of my sports drink that I carry with me. I used half more than I normally do......crap! It’s getting hot!!!

This pic is not of James...He's not a Kenyan.

I was doing fine, no cramps, no pain, and then it hit me at the 20K mark-WHAM! The wall… ouch, that hurt!!!! I slowed down to fill up my water bottle, and the only thing I could see was my pace group pulling away from me. Double crap! By mile 13.1, all I wanted to do was sit down on the curb and weep. Ouch, the pain was everywhere! Not the shin splints that had given me trouble for weeks before, not any leg cramps, no one place, I just hurt and hurt bad. I had felt this type of pain before in earlier marathons, but not until mile 20-21 and never this bad......the beast had hit me, but hadn't knocked me down.

My breath was gone and the pain that cursed through my veins made me feel like I had been beat with a baseball bat and, to top it off, my ipod quit.....triple crap! “S*&#!” I said, “Why am I not sweating anymore?....That can't be good.” Light headed and blisters forming on the bottom of my toes, (that had never happened before…triple- dog crap!) I limped to the side and slowed to a hobbling walk and yelled out the only adjective that fit the way I felt… "F@#%!(sometimes it just has to be used!)......Am I stopping?" I asked myself, “Has the beast got the best of me?” I only had half a marathon to go, so I slammed a Gu, took on some H2O, and picked up the pace.


In the next several miles, I saw slower pace groups pass me. I tried to speed up to keep up with them and try and salvage something from my first 20K. The pain would creep back in and hit me. Hey, it is hard to run with blisters....S@#%, this wasn't what I had planned for. Around mile 18.5, I tried my ipod one more time. Boom, it kicked on...got to love that Elvis! Time and time again, I had to tell myself, "Suck it up, sissy. You’re a black belt, for God’s sake, don't let the beast beat you."

I started to see earlier people that had left me behind, now suffering at the hands of the beast. I passed one runner who hit the ground, calling out in pain from cramps. As I passed, I started to slow up to help him, but instead went on. It just hurt too much to slow down or bend over.

This starts the ADD portion of James's story....

Awwwww crap, it was getting hot.....I was throwing cups of water over my head, something I normally don't do, all in an attempt to shake the beast. I saw others stopped in the shade with onlookers dowsing them with water, trying to cool them down.....Oh look someone throwing up.......mmmmmm bananas. I had to come in under 4 hours. That was the time I had set for myself in my first marathon, and I was not going to go over 4......breath, breath, breath....what breath?

Hey, what are all these red flags out here? Ouch, pain…Oooo water… need water....(the red flags were the high heat warning system they had put into place that I forgot about...different colors for different conditions).

Hey look! Mile 25, I'm almost done! "Almost there! Just a mile to go,” someone cheered from the side with a perky little smile on his face. "Keep on going! You can do it!" No s@#$ I can do it, you fat bastard. I just ran 25 miles, half of it in pain. I sure the hell am not going to stop now! I would have stopped and kicked him in [his man parts], but I’m not sure I could get my foot up there!

Up a hill and around the corner I went with .2 to go! "Pick it up sissy," I told myself. "Got to get that sub 4.”

“Get out of my way, you little twit," my mind yelled out to some stupid b@#$% that decides to stop within sight of the finish.....some people.

I crossed the line, in too much pain to even stop my Garmin...3:54, now that is cutting it close. CRAP!

As I made my way through the finishers lanes it was like a death walk. It was quiet, but for the music playing and the guy on the P.A........I got some water and found a wheel chair in the shade and watched as runners were helped to the aid stations and others up-chuck because they drank tooooo much water way toooooo fast after stopping. There were some tough runners here today! To see how people pushed themselves to the line only to need to be carried after that....odd people us runners...

irksome ike

If my regular readers are observant, they might be wondering why I didn't post a race report for the Lewis and Clark Half Marathon that I was registered to run on the 14th. The side bar list of my races completed has a nasty "DNS" next to it. So, here's the scoop...


Katie and I picked up our race packets the day before at the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles. We took the requisite Runner Dork pics. I discovered that my race bib was #2!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! Well, as a HUGE Runner Dork, I was jumping up and down with glee with that bib number. No, I don't have a particular fondness for the #2. I play a game during longer and crowded races. It's the "Find the Lowest Bib Number Game." Oh' don't judge...you know you secretly do the same thing...or some other variation of some stupid game. We all do weird things to pass the time during a long run.

The next morning came early...very early...3:30 a.m. early. I awoke to the lovely sensation of a sore throat that felt like I was swallowing sand laced with shards of glass. I drove to Katie's place, where we switched cars and her parents drove us to the race. It was pouring rain when I left my house. It turned into a light drizzle at Katie's place. By the time we got to the exit for the race start, it was an all out scary storm. We kept trying to make light of the situation by saying how cool of a race story it was going to make...we ran in a tropical depression! Katie's dad kept telling us to fudge the story a little and call it Hurricane Ike, since technically it was Ike...just down-graded.

It took us a better part of an hour to get from the ramp to the parking lot. The race had already started. We had timing chips, so it didn't really matter that we were late. The parking attendants were standing knee deep in water. Katie's dad parked by a Johnny on the Spot. He opened the door to make a mad dash to the "spot" and the wind nearly took the door off. Katie got a text from a friend who was watching her fiance run the marathon. She reported that she saw a girl run by in waist deep water. I looked at Katie. She looked at me. I said, "Aw Katie, this is your call. I've done this before. I know this is your first half, and if you want to run, I'll run with you. It's your decision." She made the call and we decided that we would turn around and go home. I barely made it home. Several of the major interstates and highways were closed due to flooding. I had to take several detours and, once I made it to my town, considered abandoning my car and running home. It would have been safer. I had to get off the main road and leap frog from parking lot to street to parking lot to street in order to make it home without drowning my car.

By the time I got home, I was in full-fledged sicko mode. I slept for four hours on the couch. I woke up and got a text from my friend James who started the race and reported that they ended the race after 10 miles. He was on pace for a PR! He's a machine...who runs a PR in the middle of the remnants of a hurricane?!?! They had to reroute the course several times due to flooding. They lost radio communication and were not able to safely support the runners in case there was a medical emergency. We wouldn't have been able to finish the race anyway.

I was completely bummed that I didn't get to run it, after training for it all summer. However, my heart just broke for my friends that trained for it as first-timers and/or had trained for the full marathon. Katie ended up going home and running 13 miles anyway (see her "race report" here). Kyle sent me a text on his way home from the race, asking me if I knew of any half marathons coming up locally. He was already planning his comeback. Cheri (who weighs about 90 pounds...I'm surprised she didn't blow away) braved the storm and tried to power through to run the marathon, only to be cut short. James blasted through 10 miles, only to be forced to stop by race officials. Kristin and her husband were first timers and tearfully told me that "I already knew I could run 10 miles...I ran that last week! I just wanted to finish!" Dave, who stood up to his personal demons and chose sobriety, used his marathon training as part of his path to recovery. You all handled your disappointment with grace, humor, and integrity. Your perseverance through the training was amazing and I am so proud of you. I am honored and humbled to call you friends.

8 on the 8th Olympic Style Race Report

My Non-Runner Nancy virtual race turned out to be 9 on the 9th. We were challenged to do it with some sort of Olympic flare, but the closest I got was simulating the polluted air of Beijing by running a route along the congested main street in my town, with a little construction sand mixed in...apparently Beijing has a high concentration of desert sand in their air. I flirted with the idea of prancing around my living room with one of marathon medals post race, but I refrained. I don't have good curtain coverage on my living room windows and the neighbors may have questioned my sanity more than they already do. Here's my play by play report...

Night before: I'm only including this part because I was so proud of myself for planning ahead. I had a baked potato with black beans and veggies for dinner. Potatoes work better for me than pasta for carbo-loading. I added in the beans for extra protein to see how it would affect my run. I kinda lost some nutritional brownie points later that evening when I had a low fat ice cream cone from McD's with a friend (seriously, is crack on a cone).

Pre-race: I slept in until about 6:30 (whoo hoo!). Had some Simply Harvest while I waited for the dogs to do their business. I'm experimenting with pre-race meals* to see how it effects my time/stomach/need for a toitee. I usually do toast with peanut butter and a banana before a big race (just a banana or other fruit before a morning run). I'm also experimenting with energy gels. I downed some water and tried a Hammer Gel for the first time (tropical flavored). I put my water bottle and my baggie of Clif Bloks in my mailbox and away I went!

Race: I will spare you a mile by mile replay. Especially considering I was going solo, I don't have any dramatic battles or happy runner conversations to re-enact for you. I do have to say, I felt AMAZING!!! The weather was beautiful. We had a break in the heat and humidity. It felt like going on that first fall run of invincibility when your body wakes up and realizes that you aren't running with a 2 ton anvil on your back. It was one of those runs that you remember and cling to when the going gets tough and you have to remind yourself that running feels amazing...like you can do anything, go any distance, and you just can't wait to do it again. The only mishap was that I was so in the zone**, that I missed my scheduled water stop at the police station. I had gone a mile past the station before I even realized where I was, so I decided not to back track and waited until I looped back by my mailbox. I also tried out one of my new running skirts. I purchased two different brands online, both the same size. I tried out the first one earlier this week and it fit well. The one I wore yesterday was way too big, so I had to keep pulling it up for fear that I would be giving local traffic a little show.
My time at the 8 mile mark: 1:17.42
My time at the 9 mile mark: 1:26.53
I ran 20 minutes faster than my super 15K race two weekends ago, which kind of gives you an idea of how miserable I was during that race. Proper fueling, weather conditions, and a well planned race REALLY make a difference!

Post Race: I refrained from doing a happy dance around my living room and decided to try the Hour-After Plan outlined in the latest Runners World. I got as far as the "5 minutes after" hydrate step before I got side tracked (hello, ADHD). I did eventually eat and stretch though. I ended the race with Olympic flare by doing the legs up the wall stretch*** while I watched the Olympics on T.V.

*The hot cereal worked great. I liked the added almonds for extra protein and yumminess. Hammer Gel tasted like what I imagine a## in a tube would taste like, but it was effective. After I fought back my gag reflex, I was able to stomach it. I liked that it has less calories than Gu (I'd rather ingest calories that I actually enjoy). The packaging was a little awkward...I nearly lacerated the roof of my mouth on the wrapper (GU packets are smaller).
**Bubba was thinking about Laura's foray with the Gooey Butter Cake and realized that I should have told her about O'Connell's Pub. They have a Gooey Butter Cookie, which would have saved her (and the hotel plumber) from committing the crime of flushing Gooey Butter goodness down the toilet.
***Note to self: Take shoes off before doing this stretch...you will have some explaining to do about why you have scuff marks on your wall.

O'Fallon Summer Sizzler* Race Report

And the winner is.....(drum roll please).......
NOT ME!!!
Sadly, no gold medal honors this time around. Apparently there are more girly sissy runners in the dead of winter than there are in the dead of summer. The girl who was at the top of the heap ran it in 1:13:21...Ahhh ya, that wasn't me. I'm just glad I survived the dang thing. It was a very frustrating experience. Now that I've had some time to cool off (in more ways than one), I am now prepared to give a race report.

Pre-race: My alarm didn't go off, but I magically woke myself up on my own in enough time to scramble out of bed, throw some gear on and make it to the race on time. Luckily, I had laid everything out the night before. I packed my fuel belt in anticipation of the heat. I knew, from the race I ran on the same course two winters ago, that the race would not be staffed well and I wanted to be prepared with extra water. I felt like a big running geek because I was the only runner wearing the equivalent of a runners' pocket protector, but I got over it. During the course briefing, they reminded us that it was a "super" 15k, which means they tagged on an additional .2 miles, making the official race distance 9.5 miles....SUUUPPPPER!!! Also, the Y had invested in timing chips for the event, which was new and exciting.

So here are a few mental notes I took during the race....

1. As I stated in my previous post, the course is on a road called Seven Hills Road. It's a VERY steep set of hills that run along a two lane highway (with a few side jaunts into some neighborhoods), which means:
-Lots of yummy road kill...I counted six raccoons, three birds, about half a dozen froggies, and one unidentifiable heap of a carcass.
-Absolutely no shade....blazing sun....96% humidity.
-Bonus licence plate game activity! Katie and I are on a non-road trip license plate game kick (Yes, we're huge dorks, but I prefer "cute and endearing"). I managed to get Alaska, Hawaii, and North Dakota during the race!

2. Most people don't like to run 15Ks. It got kinda lonely because there were only 44 runners on our course (there were more 10k and 5k runners). I only had three short convos of note.
#1 Passed older man who made a comment about the lack of Johnny on the Spots...I told him the cornfield on the right was his best bet.
#2 Passed a huge military lookin' guy and I offered him some of my water. He said thanks, but he thought he could make it to the next water stop, and he was just ready for the dang thing to be over.
#3 Got passed by two ladies running together, and the second one made some comment to me about how much this race sucked.

Which brings me to why we were all incredibly frustrated.....

3. In the span of 9.5 miles, they had three water stops...at mile 3, mile 7, and mile 9. They gave us about 4 oz. of warm water in Styrofoam cups. The stops were manned by people with the maximum age of 16, minimum age of about 10. They had no Gatorade, no medical support, no bathroom facilities, and no vehicle support to check on the runners. Every once in a while they had these water stop mirages. The volunteers wore fluorescent yellow t-shirts that could be seen from really far away. They had a few strategically placed volunteers on the course with cowbells, supposedly encouraging the runners. We kept thinking they were water stops, but they were just cowbell teasers**. We would have given anything to have those bells filled with icy cold beverages instead of useless metal clangers. By about mile 6, I saw more walkers than runners....people were dropping like flies. I think we were all scared that if we didn't slow down, we might pass out...and who would find us? I finally gave in to the heat and walked the upsides of the last few hills. I ran out of water at mile 7 and didn't want to push it too much. Needless to say, most of us were pretty frustrated at the end of the race and vowed to write strongly worded letters/emails to the race director in protest.

Now, before you call me a sissy girl, I have to clarify a few things. Having done a fall marathon, I'm no stranger to long runs in the heat. I also have run in summer races that are really well organized.***The race organizers neglected to follow the rules that most experienced runners know as basic common sense:
-Always start running early.
-Hydrate well...place water out on your route ahead of time, carry water with you, plan a route that has drinking fountains strategically placed, and/ or alternate between water and Gatorade, Gu20, etc. if you are running a longer distance.
-Run where there is shade.
-Make sure you run in populated areas in case you need help (or a potty).
-If you can get your neighbors or random strangers to spray you with their garden hoses as you run by, it's always a bonus...just make sure you are properly lubed up.

*Remind me to never run a race with "sizzle" in the title again.
**Don't substitute cow bells for fluids. They will make your dehydration headache worse...and make you want to beat an innocent 10 year old volunteer senseless with a metal noisemaker.
***The Boilermaker in NY is a good one-great spectator and volunteer support, water stops every mile, and they even have an unofficial a popsicle stop!

me and 60,000 of my friends

A week ago today was the Komen Race for the Cure (I'm a wee bit behind on my blogging). The Race for the Cure is a cause near and dear to my heart because my grandmother died of breast cancer many moons ago. I have run it the past three years in her honor.
St.Louis competes every year to have the biggest race. I think they probably made their goal this year. I tried to run the 5K with 60,000+ other runners/walkers. It was mostly a lot of dodging, bobbing, weaving, and trying not to fall and break every bone in my body as a stampede of people moved down the streets of St. Louis. I considered giving myself PR props for surviving the race unscathed. Here are a few pics of the race, but you really had to be there to truly appreciate the sheer number of people who were out there, supporting such a worthy cause...saving the ta-tas.

Melinda and I before the race. This was Melinda's first race! Her mom and one of her grandmothers are breast cancer survivors.

The Mighty Kate, Kate's husband Skip, Kate's mom, and one of their friends before the race.

My friend Katie with Melinda....Katie is training to run her first half marathon with me in September!

Holy Moly that's a lot of people! The sea of people you see up ahead of us on that hill extended in the same way behind us....60,000 is A LOT of people!

Crazy guy running in a bear costume...

Katie and I walked down to the Arch after the race. The rising Mississippi is creeping it's way into the city.

The city dyed the fountain pink in honor of the race.

Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Yesterday was Non-runner Nancy's 10K on the 10th. Thanks Nancy for organizing that! Like Marcy, I wasn't able to do the run on the 10th, but I did it today. So, I figured if Marcy did it a few days early, and I did it a day late, we could split the difference. So here's my race report...

The morning began with the gale force wind/rain storm that woke me up at 7:00 a.m. I dutifully rolled out of bed and geared up. I opened the front door, stepped out in the front porch, and was almost knocked over by a gust of wind. I decided to forgo the morning run and wait until after church, hoping that the weather would turn. No such luck. I decided to take a nap when I got home and wait out the weather.* Two hours later, I geared up again and headed out the door. The rain had stopped, but the knock-your-socks-off-wind was still an issue. I spent the majority of the run battling with the wind, which either wanted to push me into oncoming traffic, or throw me in the ditch on the side of the road. I decided to stick close to home and run one of my usual routes in my neighborhood. However, the storm had created a virtual obstacle course of downed limbs on the streets. It felt very much like this Nike commercial (I was the Native American chica in the forest).

On my third loop around the route, I saw this lady taking pictures of her yard from the street. I thought it was an odd time to take family pictures, even if it is Mother's Day...they must like the wind blown look. However, when I got closer to her yard, I realized she was taking pictures of an enormous tree that had snapped in half and had fallen on a power line...which I had run past twice without noticing. Apparently, I'm not the most observant person lately. You would think I would have taken note of a potentially life-threatening danger...wet roads + rain + enormous tree + downed power line = certain death or at least making my already curly hair more afro-like.

I finished up the 10K in about an hour. I'm pretty sure I ran further than the 6.2. I don't have the distance measured on that particular route yet. I've been running an average 8:30-9:30 minute pace on my normal runs, so I figured if I ran for an hour, I would have the race covered. I considered it a success that I survived the run without electrocution.


*I have been dragging arse lately. I'm NEVER this exhausted. When I run, my legs feel like lead. I RARELY take naps. I could have slept through until tomorrow morning, but I didn't let myself. Any advice on what this could be? I haven't had a change in diet or sleep schedule, and I have been hydrating like normal (and no, I'm not preggers).