Tuesday, September 30, 2008

tales from the hood: brain-mouth filter

Today's installment is about this little thing we like to call the "brain-mouth filter." This magical device is situated inside our brains and it keeps the things that are going on inside our heads from coming out of our mouths. The adults* in our program actively use this device on a daily basis. Oh, what our mouths would like to say, but our trusty brain-mouth filter brings to a screeching halt. Here are some examples:

Example 1
Me: Tez, what do you call the part of your body attached to your ankle?

Tez: (eye roll) Aw man G, that's easy! It's my foot.

Me: Okay, good. Now, what do you call both of the body parts attached to your ankles.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: Oh' sweet Jesus help me not lose it!

Me: Tez, the word is feet. F-E-E-T. There isn't an "S" on the end of that word. Now you try.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: (sigh) *#$@!

Me: No, Tez. Let's try this again. One of those body parts is called a "foot" (I write it on the board). Some words, when you make them plural, or more than one, you DON'T add "S" to them. You need to change the spelling of the word to make them plural. The word "foot" is one of them. You have to change the two o's to two e's. More than one foot is said "feet" (I write it on the board). Now, you try.

Tez: Feets!

Brain-Mouth Filter: Stupid, stupid, stupid English language (bang head against wall)!

Me: Forget it Tez, it's okay. We'll try again later.**

Example 2

Me: Darius, please don't start undressing until you get into the locker room. I don't need to see that much of you.

Brain-Mouth Filter: Nor do I want to....

Darius: Aw man Miss G, it's not like you haven't see it before!

Me: That may be true Darius, but I did not ask to see your bare chest, so please put your shirt back on until you get into the locker room (he puts his shirt back on). Thank you Darius.

Brain Mouth Filter: You are sooooo going to get arrested for indecent exposure at some point in your life!

Darius (from the inside of the locker room): MAN! I hate getting dressed in here. It's so claustrophobic up in here. We can't get dressed out there because someone doesn't want to see my giant WIENER!

Me (yelling from outside the locker room): No thanks! I appreciate you saving me from that experience! Good vocabulary though...nice use of claustrophobic!

Brain Mouth Filter: (hilarious laughter) He did NOT just say wiener!?!


And lastly....

I came home from work today to find this flyer in my mailbox. Yup, that's right. Handguns and Rice Krispies my friends. Now, my students can Snap, Crackle, and "Pop" each other over their breakfast cereal! For crying out loud, what is this world coming to?!

*We try to teach the students to use this device too, but they haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet. It's an uphill battle. It doesn't stop us from trying though.
**Tez is a 9th grader that came to us mid-year last year. We have had this conversation many, many,(sigh), many times.

9 comments:

Unknown said...

I so look forward to your daily posts on conversations with your students. Just cracks me up.

Marcy said...

OMFG I would DIE! HAHHAHAHAAAAA Your kids know how to roll LMAO!

Midwest said...

Your first conversation reminds me of one I had with my son Jack.

Me: Say your name, Jack.
Jack: ZZZjack!
Me: J-J-Jack. Say Jack.
Jack: ZZZjack!
Me: Say jellybean.
Jack: Jellybean.
Me: Say jump.
Jack: Jump!
Me: Say Jack.
Jack: ZZZjack!

Carly said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is some funny stuff. I am glad you have the filter. I am not so lucky and my thoughts would be verbalized in no time.

Anonymous said...

LMAO, I almost peed my pants, too funny. Shelby always tells me her "feets" are hot. Love it!

Anonymous said...

Best Blog entry on entire innerweb!!

Frayed Laces said...

Ha. Hahahahaha. Thanks for my lunchtime dose of humor!

Kate said...

Haha, I love the "Nice use of the word claustrophobic!"

Nitmos said...

Sometimes when I run I say "feets don't fail me now". Is that no good?

About Me

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I'm a teacher with a running problem, or maybe I'm a runner with a teaching problem...you pick.

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races completed

A bunch of 5Ks...I've lost track over the years...

O'Fallon (IL) YMCA 15K Winter 2007

St. Louis Track Club Half Marathon (spring) 2007

Spirit of St. Louis Marathon 2007

Boilermaker 15K Roadrace 2007 (Utica, NY)

Lewis and Clark Marathon 2007 (St. Charles, MO)

St. Louis Track Club Frost Bite Series 2008

-12K

-10 Miles

-20K

-Half Marathon

Go! St. Louis Half Marathon 2008

Route 66 Festival 10K 2008 (Edwardsville, IL)

O'Fallon (IL) Summer Sizzler 15K 2008

Lewis and Clark Half Marathon 2008 (St, Charles, MO: DNS-cancelled due to Hurricane Ike)

O'Fallon Fall Finale 15K 2008


St. Louis Track Club Half Marathon 2008 (PR!)

Mountain Home Half Marathon (Arkansas) 2008 (2nd in age group!)

Great River Road Run (IL) 10 miles


St. Louis Track Club Frost Bite Series 2008-2009

-12K

-10 miles

Phoenix Rock-n-Roll Marathon (AZ)

Go! St. Louis Half Marathon 2009

Kentucky Derby Half Marathon 2009


















future races

race wish list

Big Sur Marathon
Disney Marathon
Nike Marathon
Marine Corps Marathon
Great River Relay
Bolder Boulder
Chicago Distance Classic